SuburbanAdventure

People who can’t make comparisons make me sad:
Lowe’s Associate: So, it’s like a big arrow?
Me: No, there’s no bow.
Lowe’s Associate:  Then what is it?
Me: A 6-foot arm actuated dart.
Lowe’s Associate: like a slingshot?
Me: No, there’s no elastic material.
Lowe’s Associate: Oh, so like a lawn dart?
Me: ……….. Yes, a lawn dart that can tear through plywood [...]

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Periodically, I investigate a random issue and lately it’s been shipping wine across state borders.  I’m pretty sure I have no problem with this and I checked the Wine Spirits Wholesalers Assc. web page for propaganda.  I found a section entitled “Cyberbuzz” that talks about the dangers of unregulated alcohol.  Although, I believe they missed [...]

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My computer hobbying has gotten around the office and co-workers have asked me a more than one computer question.  Today, one of the engineers was asking me about upgrading his processor and as I told him what he’d have to do the engineer saw his manager coming over and quickly switched topics when the manager [...]

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I was looking for my electric skillet that I had left at camp I had asked around and got no response until one person mentioned he hadn’t seen it, but indicated that the electric griddle he’d found sure made great eggs. *Laser beams*

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My atlatl darts came yesterday while I was at work so I picked it up at the post office.  The box was about 7 feet long and 4″ x 4″ prompting the postal worker to ask what it was.  I replied “Do-it-yourself pole vaulting kit”.

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For the last few weeks I’ve used a manually generated ID to get into work rather than using the ID scanner and today the secretary had enough.
Her: “Why don’t you have an ID? I have to make you a new one everyday.”
Me: “I emailed the form to security.”
Her: “Did you get it signed by your [...]

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My IH0052 Instructor conducts classes by primarily asking questions AKA the Socratic Method.  As the Faulknerian Idiot Man Children in our class seemed incapable of answering without simply restating the question and I get rather bored showing my greater breadth of knowledge in all things animal, vegetable and mineral, I I asked him if he [...]

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Periodically we get work requests in the lab that are time consuming, sometimes because combinatronics hits people upside the head.  As children, I think we all learned the “if Sally has 3 shirts and 5 shoes, she has 15 shirt-shoe combinations”.  Well, today I previewed a work order that had 6 materials, with 6 treatments, [...]

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Act Sci 305 was moved to a different class to get a larger chalkboard and I immediately voiced my concerns as the previous class had lab benches were these desks properly sized for 12 year olds.
Mrs. A: Do you really like the other class better?
Me: Yes, there was enough room to have two books and [...]

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Tech support is simultaneously a source of joy and frustration, especially if one is past the threshold of idiocy but before the gateway to mastery, today being betwain those became painfully clear.
Me: I currently have two login accounts and can never tell which I’m using
Tech: Isn’t there a different login name
Me: No
Tech: “That’s impossible”
Me: I thought that, too
Tech: Yes, it [...]

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