A friend of my father and brother is raising money to adopt a child from East Asia by selling lollipops. Apparently all adopted children in the US are tards and he and his wife weren’t going for that. I’ve been asked to take a box of lollipops into work to sell. I’m trying to figure out what to call them, “Buy an Asian Baby for Brian Lollipops” or BABBL . I think the whole BabyPops is retarded. Who’s going to buy a lollipop who’s profits go to buying a child? I’m going to take them in and just put a sign that says “Neshaminy Band” or something. It worked for my parents for 6 years as their co-workers consumed dubious confections.