SuburbanAdventure

Everyday, Matt buys two diet Cokes from the vending machine in the cafeteria and pays $1.50 for each of them.  I told him he should just buy a couple six packs and store them in the fridge.  He laughed at this stating how little time he had to go to the store, I indicated I’d [...]

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I had to set up a sequence of lab apparatus today to test the pull strength of pouch adhesives.  This test involves suspending weights and normally the rig is set up for one at a time.  I had to do 20 so I got a little creative and using a T shaped lab stand suspended [...]

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I was stopped in the warehouse today by a gentleman in the mailroom.
Him: So, how do you come up with your amazing ideas in R&D?  You must spend hours reading all those trade publications that go up stairs to see what’s on the cutting edge.
Me: Not really, I mean, it’s a shit bag, better holographic [...]

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Dave held a grilling feast at his home and I did as was customary for any Robinson food function: I threw the left overs in the lawn.  Dave was very accommodating about this until I started throwing strawberry pits onto his lawn.
Dave: What are you doing?
Me: Don’t worry, some animal will come and eat it.
Dave: [...]

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Apparently when Joe Naylor is in a dream and he’s been beat in strip kickball by the team from the Lingerie Bowl dressed in Kool Whip and Israeli Couscous he visits Kevin Ott’s cloud castle where he arms himself with the guns from Ghost Busters to fight undead commie Nazis with Superman voiced by Mr. [...]

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My brother cleaned out the fridge again, this time more completely.  Who’s got two thumbs and 45 packets of Taco Bell Mild Taco sauce? This guy!  I also learned that if you don’t put a big fuckin’ bottle of ketchup in front of the light bulb, one doesn’t need a head lamp to find left [...]

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Ryan: I like hot better than cold.
Me: Nah, when it’s cold, I can add clothing, when it’s too hot, there’s only so much I can take off.
Marcus: Unless you took off your skin…
10 minutes later, here’s where things were:
Marcus: Well, I guess we’ll just have to skin a monkey in space and settle this once [...]

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I left for work at 4:20 AM in an attempt to beat one of my co-workers in that always seems to beat me by 10 minutes.  I rolled into the parking lot at 5:05 AM and saw my nemesis’ normal parking spot empty and I pumped my fist in triumph until I saw that his [...]

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Spring has begun, I tried to mow the lawn.  You can tell your house has fallen into dis-repair when you have to mow your brick patio.  Otherwise, the mowing was easy with the exception of the horny-teenage-like mower’s inability to be turned off.  I did what any reasonable person would do, I piled up a [...]

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Troop 153 wanted me to run Environmental Science so I met them at the lawn of Assumption Church and we started identifying plant species and naming relationships.  The whole time people were beeping at us yelling insults and jibes as they passed and finally one kid asked me why.  A bunch of Boy Scouts in [...]

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