One of the staff competitions I started was a limerick contest for poems starting with “There once was a man named Bill Mischke” and “There once was a man named Tom Leitz”. The winning result for the first:
There once was a man named Tom Leitz
Who didn’t get into many fights
Some thought him a dope
But as he drove through New Hope
he only stopped for red traffic lights
Background: To call Tom a homophobe would be like calling a person with crippling arachnophobia “not a spider person”.