Egyptian Rat Screw is a fast-slapping playing card game I’ve loved for years. I played it at first in elementary school but not until I had hours to kill as a Scout volunteer did I really develop retarded skill at the game. My current streak is 74 games most against Joe Naylor. Some of the persons present when Joe an I were player weren’t familiar with my preternatural slapping speed.
Pat: How are you so stupidly fast at this?
Me: I think it’s a combination of spending my youth summing house numbers on my way to school and screwing with my cat.
Pat: How did the cat help?
Me: He was never declawed.
This last part came back and bit me when I was screwing with Joe’s cat, and in an attempt to avoid getting scratched I pulled my hand away whiping like 9 drinks off the table. I later found out it was declawed and getting pawed by it was like being a attacked by a handful of Q-tips.