SimStapler is quite possibly one of the dumbest applications for the iPhone. You press the stapler on screen, and it plays an animation of someone using a red swingline stapler. Every 10 presses, a woman’s voice says “splendid!” I’ve currently pressed it about 4000 times and everyone who sees it call me an idiot; until they try to see how fast they can use it.
Teejay Green challenged Sam Lodise to a friendly competition of who could get to 50 first. Teejay got 50 presses in 22.23 seconds where Sam beat him out narrowly at 22.18 seconds. Teejay had knocked back a few beers at this point and what I assumed was a friendly competition was not: Upon learning of his loss at an utterly pointless game Teejay said the following: “You cock-sucking mother-fucking Chinese bastard”.
This is why I don’t drink. In other news, Teejay stated to me that he’d pay me 10 dollars if by 2018 he didn’t have a personal fusion generator in his basement. With God and the blogosphere as my witness, I will have my 10 dollars.