It’s been a bit of an office ritual that a coworker of mine would scan my clothing for food stains. Most have some sort of culinary christening as despite my best efforts I usually get hit with something. Recently, I somehow got a bit of egg under my dunlop. The next day, I somehow managed to get a blot of ketchup on my shirt and pants positioned symmetrically about my waist like I’d dropped the Heinz bottle and caught it by kneeing myself in the bosom.
But something magical happens when I’m driving. While eating while driving lies somewhere between road-head and the radio in terms of lethality I can safely consume an entire chicken cheese steak while driving. Today I stunned my coworkers by eating a Chipotle steak, rice and pepper burrito one-handed with not a blot show. Maybe if I got a MarioKart wheel or simply played Radar Love I could emulate this road-borne success at the work desk.