I was on my treadmill talking in Team Interrobang’s VoIP client when another member said they had a favor to ask of me. We move to another channel and he asks me to order him a pizza from a place down the street from him which is still 900 miles from as he lives in a college town in Kentucky. Apparently, his girlfriend took their mobile phone to work and with no landline I, walking on a treadmill 900 miles away, was the only impediment to him dying of starvation. So he gives me his order, address, and his credit card number. All goes swimmingly, the delightful accent of the sorostitute that answered the phone, the country/western hold music and the order itself, until she asks the following:
Pizza Shop Employee: Ok, so that’s one Baldie’s Special no olives. What’s the phone number for this order.
Me: I don’t know.
Pizza Shop Employee: Uh…
-Contemporaneously with yokel confusion-
My Brain: Fool! You’re using a phone give her that number!
Me: Yes. I just got a new Google voice number, I’ll use that.
My Brain: Now you’re thinking. Good thing you didn’t give her the number for the phone you’re currently using that you could respond to immediately, that would make sense.
Me: *gives Google voice number to which I only get messages as a mp3 in my inbox until I setup forwarding*
My Brain: You’re a genius!
I later found out that his orders can be practically delivered on foot and he probably could have ordered by opening his appartment window and yelling. I guess in his imaciated state he lacked the energy to do such. I was miffed until I realized something: I still have his credit card number, expiration date, and card verification code in a text file on my desktop that’s been recently renamed “Blitz_Blackmail.txt”.