My mother came by to do some task to fill time in the day and we began with a back-and-forth regarding a set of full size bedding she’d given me which I asked her to take back. This ended with “but one day, you’ll need them” and I replied “and on that day, I’ll buy them”. The difference between a hoard and stockpile seems only to be creativity and I’m a bit too inventive for my own good sometimes. Later, she asked to see the pictures I had taken during Christmas at her house and we had a bit of a back and forth. She seemed to be under the impression that the camera out of the box was the biggest determiner of photo quality.
Me: *changing white balance*
Mom: Why are the colors different now?
Me: I adjusted the white balance, lights have different colors and what we see as white rarely is.
Mom: Is that why indoor pictures all look yellow?
Me: Yes. Now I’m adjusting the clarity on the picture of your sister.
Mom: Why would you do that?
Me: Negative clarity tends to clear up the skin a bit. Otherwise everyone looks like they’re 80.
Mom: That seems like you’re changing the picture, that’s not what it really looked like.
Me: I can use a similar process to reduce the wrinkles around your eyes.
Mom: Ooh, that is nice.
For Valentine’s Day give your lady the greatest gift of all: A photo with selective softening in areas where a line-detection algorithm notes high contrast surrounded by an area of low contrast.