Since December, a half dozen FedEx packages have not been properly delivered, so I called FedEx Home to see what the source of the error was:
FedEx Person: Sir, it appears that the system is interpreting your address as E. Bristol Rd near Brownsville Rd. Where should it be?
Me: West Bristol Rd near Chinquapin Rd closer to Southampton.
*we went back and forth for about 10 minutes trying to find my house based on a landmark which ended when I sent a Google map URL*
FedEx Person: Ok, a note will be attached to the address indicating the location. Sir, I want to thank you for understanding, most people aren’t nearly this calm.
Me: GPS has generally improved the world, but my address is that 1 in 1000 outlier where it just doesn’t work. I’ve gotten used to it. Also, I have a nuclear option.
FedEx Person: Nuclear option?
Me: Yes, every FedEx employee has a monthly quality bonus which can be quite sizable that goes away if there’s a single customer complaint. That’s a big red button that’s easy to press and as I sit on the phone, I mentally run my finger around it. I find it calming.
FedEx Person: Oh, so you know about the…
Me: Yes, yes I do. So, my overnight packages will again be overnight packages?
FedEx Person: Yes, Mr. Robinson. Thank you for the opportunity to correct the error. Thank you , I mean thank you.