In IH 0051 we’ve been reading the Old Testiment and to win the frequent Biblical pissing matching I’ve been toting the 14 lb. Oxford New Revised Standard Version (with Apocrypha) around Temple. This isn’t too odd as based on my size it looks like I’m a smaller person perusing Reader’s Digest. While reading Genesis I’ve had the score to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat running through my head and I finally got my umbrella back after 3 weeks of use by some smelly-pirate hooker for which I felt sorry in my stat class. After class, I mount the R3 to go home and there are infinite people, mostly in shitty costumes, and there’s no place to sit. So, I’m standing there reading the giant Bible humming show tunes carrying an umbrella on a clear 70° day on Halloween in shorts and sandals with socks when I notice everyone around backing away and getting quiet. I’m used to this to a certain extent as there is a certain surreal quality to a 380lb man whistling on a train, but the clincher was when I made eye contact with a 10 year old dressed as a skeleton leans over to his mother and lips the words “he’s weird”. Welcome to Philadelphia, kids.
Weird, or wired? No, just weird.
In IH 0051 we’ve been reading the Old Testiment and to win the frequent Biblical pissing matching I’ve been toting the 14 lb. Oxford New Revised Standard Version (with Apocrypha) around Temple. This isn’t too odd as based on my size it looks like I’m a smaller person perusing Reader’s Digest. While reading Genesis I’ve had the score to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat running through my head and I finally got my umbrella back after 3 weeks of use by some smelly-pirate hooker for which I felt sorry in my stat class. After class, I mount the R3 to go home and there are infinite people, mostly in shitty costumes, and there’s no place to sit. So, I’m standing there reading the giant Bible humming show tunes carrying an umbrella on a clear 70° day on Halloween in shorts and sandals with socks when I notice everyone around backing away and getting quiet. I’m used to this to a certain extent as there is a certain surreal quality to a 380lb man whistling on a train, but the clincher was when I made eye contact with a 10 year old dressed as a skeleton leans over to his mother and lips the words “he’s weird”. Welcome to Philadelphia, kids.
Christmas comes early, again.
I went to Lowes to purchase a replacement air filter to make beef jerky and saw a sight that no sane man in the Northeast of the US should ever be exposed to… One of those gaiye giant inflatable snow globes containing Santa, and a reindeer IMMEDIATELY BEHIND THE OUTDOOR GRILLS. Who says to themselves “I’d like to prepare a giant steak and then look like a tool by putting up Christmas decorations two months early completely skipping Halloween, Thanksgiving and the Feast Day Commemorating the Dedication of the Basilicas of St. Peter and Paul.” Not I, Mr. Lowes Store #1-093 Merchandising Manager, not I.
Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft v. Geography
I’m planning a route to the Bristol Branch of the Bucks County Library system to grab a Bible so Temple won’t get my 12 dollars in exchange for some shitty annotated version of the King James Bible. Â I compared directions with YahooMaps, Google Maps, and Microsoft Streets and Trips. Â Everyone gave me a turn-by-turn identical route. Â Despite providing exactly the same route Yahoo’s total distance was 14 miles, Google’s was 11.9 miles and MS&T’s was 13.0 miles. Â I’m going to take Google’s directions there and Yahoo’s back and see if my car odometer notices.
Bill's Hair, you are the weakest link
Bill Mischke is the current director of Ockanickon Scout Reservation and is both my boss and eye-blindingly bald. Â During OSHA inspections we’ve been knocked for not providing office staff with eye protection. Â Anyway, this baldness set in early such that in the 1975 staff picture Bill is seen with quite an afro. Â But sadly, the afro received another offer and left staff and Bill’s head by 1976.
Guess where beef jerky comes from?
Madrigal’s Meat Market had the flank steak I needed to make beef jerky and I put them square in my errand sights today. Â I grabbed the steak and counter attendent asked me what I was using the steak for-
Me: I’m making beef jerky
Her: With a dehydrator?
Me: If by dehydrator you mean box fan, bungee cords, and 4 furnace filters, yes.
Her: Do you know what the best source of meat for beef jerky?
Me: A cow.
Her: Nope, deer. Â Deer makes the best beef jerky.
Hm…. deer are a source of quality cow steaks. Â Don’t tell anyone, the beef industry would be destroyed by this development.
Dominoes of Ignorance
My antithesis stole and nearly ate the microphone in American Ethnicities, the guest speaker wasn’t prepared. Â Let’s look in, my commentary is in brackets. Â “I think the patriot act is just an excuse [okay], to descriminate against foreigners [a little stretch], because of the nation-less multinationals that control America [stop], and allowed September 11th to happen [stop now], so they could seize power and put down the Mexicans [nice save, wait….].” Â I’ve never seen PowerPoint slides go by as quickly after that.
Loudest book she's ever read
My mother is now using a computer I built for her from a donation from a friend. Â Now that she has something faster than a dozen mice at mechanical calculators I loaded Windows Media Player and a number of audio books she can now listen to as she quilts or plays Dr. Mario. Upon hearing that I’d given her about 30 audiobooks she responded “but won’t I go through a lot of ink printing them?” Â Yea technology!
Loud + Dumb = Silence
All students in my American Ethnicities are incapable of speaking loudly and coherently simultaneously. Â I decided to break this trend when the question: “Why were the benefits of the GI BILL so disproportionately directed towards white men” I responded in a bellow “The government didn’t like black people.” Â No one disagreed…
Suck it, i. We don't like your kind around here.
While reviewing for my Stat 212 exam I was reminded of how competence related to statistical calculus is so much lower than other areas. Â In Acct 0002 I smile if I complete a quiz perfectly, in Stat 212 I throw a small party if the solution I get to a probability function includes at least 1 real number.