Low carb eating has resulted in a few functional food shortcomings that’ve proven hard to work around. For instance, while most dips can be easily modified to be low-carb friendly most chips cannot. I miss the dip transport function of chips but feel them necessary as I’d feel like a barbarian if I simply ate blue cheese dressing or cream cheese-centered French Onion dip with a spoon, but while holding a chip, I am a gourmet, a gentleman.

I had tried chip alternatives like making my own crackers, but this brought flashbacks (http://www.suburbanadventure.com/2010/12/17/dinner-prep-crackerquest/). Another option I investigated was cooking pepperoni until it was hard but by the time it gets firm enough it’s also quite… toasted. Then I moved onto broccoli but had to keep steaming new batches which prevented me from late night consumption which I suppose may be a good thing.

That ended today when I spotted, in my very own fridge, cucumbers. I took one out, sliced it and it performed admirably. I’m pretty sure I had gotten them for this purpose which has raised the side effects of keto to include not just strange breath but retrograde amnesia.

I spent today in the bowels of the pilot plant testing shitbag bags when the radio is turned on and because of the shitty weather there’s no fucking signal, except that the commercials come in really well and no one changes the station or touches the fucking antennae so I’m stuck not hearing anything but commercials for 6 hours. I could normally live with this exceptContinue reading