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The closest Apple-certified repair center was a typewriter repair store in Philadelphia that apparently did nothing but repair typewriters and Apple computers.  I loaded my iMac into my car, drove to the place and found it closed with a sign that said “Closed Thursdays”.  Great.

But there was a hitch, the sign’s font was Calibri.  No self-respecting Apple enthusiast would ever use Microsoft’s flagship ClearType font for a store sign.  This store either had a dark secret or a dark irony to it, neither of which I wanted to deal with.  To the Apple Repair Center near my workplace.

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I got a call from a friend today from a friend who needed help with his computer.  He had somehow gotten “Antivir Solutions Pro” installed on his machine so every program was “infected” which could be “solved” by buying the software, thus this software’s nom de guerre of ‘ransomware’.  I booted the computer into safe mode with networking, turned off the tricky proxy the software installed and then virus-scanned the shit out of his computer.  As red “INFECTED FILE FOUND” warnings flashed I started poking around his room and found this under his nightstand:

Image courtesy of Amazon.com and Seventh Circle Leather

Me: So, where’d you pick up this gem?
Him: I can explain.
Me: Ok.
Him: It was for a costume.
Me: Ok.
Him: Well, not for me, I was making it for a friend.
Me: Ok.
Him: I thought there was going to be more and this was all I got.
Me: Ok
Him: That’s it, ‘ok’?
Me: Yep.

I’m much happier thinking that this was part of an intricate scheme to walk four dogs simultaneously or trot several horses at once than any possible use he could come up with it for a “costume”.

The virus scan finished removing seemingly all the traces of the unwanted software.  If only there were a similar to tool for mental images.