I dropped a ketchup packet, and then stepped on it. This wouldn’t be unremarkeable except for that this was the first time I’ve ever taken a ketchup packet from the cafeteria and for its aftermath. I stepped on it perfectly such that it didn’t just break but that each side blew completely, it sounded like a gun shot. The guy down the hall from me ducked. It splashed off the wall. I assumed ketchup was too viscous to richochet off both the floor and wall to land on my pants; I was wrong. I assumed that a single ketchup packet could not create a ring of tomato paste and vinegar that could be perfectly mapped out four feet from the blast site; I was wrong. I thought no one had heard it and would immediately couple a bang and clumsy fat man with a horrible condiment accident; I was wrong.
Come to think of it, I don’t know what happened to the packet itself. Hm….