Me: My car seems to be making a weird noise when it shifts into second. Who should I have look at it?
Dad: Just leave it here, I’ll take a look, take my keys.
Me: Anything I should know about the GMC?
Dad: Nah.
*walk outside to GMC, see dad slam his screwdriver (drink not tool) onto table and run [...]
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My dad asked me to help him find a truck part online and we combined the skills of wading through PDFs, refining search results, and eschewing high shipping to get a price much lower than the manufacturer. Next he asked me “where can I find used stuff online?” So we turned to Craigslist and his skills [...] I talked to my brother to make arrangements for Fathers’ Day and he as an aside mentioned to me: did dad talk to you about his bladder cancer? That’s a statement that implies a lot, like that my dad had cancer, and that my brother was told and not me. Me: So, you had bladder cancer? Dad: Terry, I’m worried about your sleep schedule. I’m glad he’s concerned [...] I tried to extend my run of not talking and was able to go through Lowes, the post office, the library (real easy), and the UPS store without talking or really having to interact at all. I went to Taco Bell in an attempt to break my silence but was able to order by pointing to [...] My former employer kept me well stocked on hand cream. Notionally, this was a prophylactic against bacterial infiltration but having never encountered any covered in bodily fluids I used it to keep my hands soft. My excess stock made its way home and for the last few years my household has also benefited from soft hands. [...] My father and brother succumb to what I call the “Roomba Paradox” which is that any time saved by using the device is lost to simply staring at the thing operate. My father has faithfully followed mine around to three rooms on our ground floor to watch the pattern and my brother will physically relocate dirt [...] My dog Max had two tumors removed from his haunches three years ago and we’ve been checking for returns regularly. Over the last year my dad’s been noting the growth of a large… something near where Max’s legs meet his body. We took him to the vet and my dad asked me to interpret the results: Dad: [...] I started cutting my own hair this past weekend and did a touch-up today as I realized the spots I missed. A seasoned autosartorial maintenance wiz told me that doing a blind shave followed by a mirror-assisted second run is what separated the men from the boys. Next time I’ll try. For now, I’m collecting the [...] I started cutting my own hair this past weekend and did a touch-up today as I realized the spots I missed. A seasoned autosartorial maintenance wiz told me that doing a blind shave followed by a mirror-assisted second run is what separated the men from the boys. Next time I’ll try. For now, I’m collecting the [...] |
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