I understand fat malcontents to a degree most don’t.  Loud, inquisitive people are my folk but a person from Virginia tried my patience…. During a GPT, we had to switch locations half-way through and I had to give a game loss to man who was late.Him:“I wouldn’t have been late if you hadn’t changed the venue”
Me: “Sir, we provided 90 minutes for you to make the change and provided directions”
Him: “I’m from Virginia, how was I supposed to know where it was?”
Me: “Sir, we provided directions and gave you 90 minutes”
Him: “How was I supposed to know what a jug handle was or where the Holiday Inn was?”
Me (losing temper): “How about from previous driving experience?  Just because your state has 9 miles of paved road outside of Richmond and DC doesn’t mean you can hold other states to your abysmal transit standard and the belief that only white folks can have indoor plumbing.  As for finding the place, the directions with which you had so much trouble contained two turns and one of the turns was a merge.  I know you were stunned to see more than 3 cars in the same segment of road but the giant glowing sign that said HOLIDAY INN would be a decent giveaway, but I suppose that’s too much for us city boys to expect.”
I’ll probably receive a letter from the DCI concerning judge etiquette.  Should I, I will frame it a place it on me wall.

The PTQ saw me as the designated driver to do the Wawa run for lunch.  I assembled the food for the five of us and as I approached the counter to pay the attendent said “hungry?” in that funny way that both recognized that I was shopping for multiple people and called me fat.  After moving the 5 sandwiches, 2 cups of soup, 3 gallons of beverage, and 3 pieces of fruit next to the register, I grabbed by gut and responsed “I am buying for five.”  I think there was about a 60% chance based on the look on her face that she thought I was pregnant.