At work, I’ve taken to writing individual tasks on spiral-bound fluorescent index cards and discarding each as I finish the task. The cards are quite easy to see and I’ve inadvertently given my boss a way of tracking my productivity. Today, I’d been in for a few hours and only had gone through two cards and a coworker gave me a hairy eyeball. After leaving, I threw about a 1/2 dozen empty cards in the recycling bin and received a much more approving look later.

I think I’m going to set aside six or seven cards to throw out and reuse daily to maintain the minimum appearance of productivity. Luckily, this is a new task each time, requiring anew card, further padding my excellence. I’m a f#$%ing genius.