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I spent the day inside, nibbling at things I needed to do, annoyed by still being sick. I dawdled and cleaned, and picked at notes, and watched the sun go down.

Sometime after dark, I went for cough medicine. My cough had gone from productive to just a dry hacking so went the six blocks to the still open CVS. After taking a moment to see if my anger at the large homeopathic remedy section would trigger dormant pyrokinesis, I grabbed a bottle of cough medicine and I went to check out. Went to self check-out. Scanned. Warning pops up “Age verification required”. Oh? I waited and scanned the store. People were popping in and out, making purchased via self check-out and returning into the night. I looked around, checked the aisles for anyone with a CVS shirt on, nothing. There was a contract security person and I was left to ask him “does….. anyone work here?” He replied “Someone will be here” but in that way of it being aspirational rather than knowing. There was a genuine moment of “am I in the clean but barren future where the only people in the store are the security and the customer?”. We stared at each other for a moment and a CVS person with a coat on came in. She seemed harried and was wrapped in clothing like she’d been brought in for a special occasion. She entered some command on the console and my purchase completed without issue. She muttered “last thing I thought I’d have to do age verification for”.

She hurried back out and I wondered if she was returning to the CVS Personnel Central Distribution Hub to wait the next event requiring human attention. I crested the door and my post-human tomorrow shattered. She had been taking a smoke break with the other cashier. From tyranny to freedom.

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I went to Men’s Warehouse during lunch with the intent of getting new pants. Over the course of lunch, I learned:

  • All flat front pants are now skinny pants
  • Cuffs are not available on cotton pants
  • All slacks there either run $60 or $150 with little in between
  • All store associates there have their wastes about three inches below their nipples
  • “I’m in a hurry” means “I’m going to disappear for long lengths of time somehow in a store the size of a shoe box”

Note to Self: Find new pants place

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A friend and I were trying a ketogenic/very low-carb diet and I quickly learned that starting a new diet that tracks uncommon macronutrients is an exercise in container twirling. Barbecue sauce is high sugar as is ketchup. Some light salad dressings are problematic in addition to whole classes of foods.

We purchased deeply of cheese, pepperoni, sour cream, cream cheese, seafood, bacon, and other meats with broccoli and spinach as our greens of choice. It was expensive, or so I thought, until I returned and realized the enormous quantity of food I had purchased. My normal purchasing pattern is “what will I need to stock my kitchen” rather than “what will I need to last me the x days until I go food shopping” which can result in overbuying and spoilage if one doesn’t eat enough.

Dinner that evening was buttered chicken thighs and dessert was a fist full of almonds. Our snack was pepperoni and cream cheese. To dieting.

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Battery Terminal Cleaning – The terminals on my car battery were the rainbow of verdigris and aerugo that comes from copper compounds oxidizing into at least three different states and while beautiful, probably didn’t help the functioning of my car.  I removed the terminals, scrubbed away the corrosion and found that there wasn’t enough terminal left to actually connect to the battery post.  Hazaa.  So I borrowed my dad’s car to get new terminals and go to Michael’s.

Candy Melts – Candy melts are bits of chocolate one melts down to use as coatings for fruits, confections, and other things that should be covered in chocolate.  They’re largely vegetable oil which was maybe passed over by a cocoa bean and the industry seems to be dominated by the lone firm of Wilton’s much like Arm & Hammer is the world’s only producer of baking soda.  Michael’s had candy melt but only in pastel colors.  Assuming color in candy melts are subtractive, I reasoned that adding together pastel green with pastel blue, with pastel red would make a very non-pastel black, I purchased these in equal parts.  Later, I found out they did make black, or eventually did, I lost track of my double boiler and the pot seized leaving me with a darkened cocoa brick.  I opted to just use morsels on the next batch of truffles to coat and avoided the color conundrum.

Frames – Michael’s once stocked SSFs “simple shitty frames” but seems to no longer.  I had a coupon for 50% off all frames in a purchase and simply wanted a piece of acrylic with black plastic around it.  I buy frames to protect and highlight the photo, not subdue it.  All that Michael’s had were terribly garish “FAMILY” and “LOVE” frames that were either almost Baroque in ornamentation or in odd (to me) dimensions.  I did find what I’d call “frames” but these went by the name of “acrylic photo display boxes” which, of course, was not included in my “frames” coupon.  I guess I go back to buying out Joanne’s Fabric’s stock next time they have a sale.

A day of failures, but a productive day in that I got them all out of the way before lunch.

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My local Giant supermarket was once a Genuardi, a store I miss for both its fresh produce and mob ties.  On the way back from Doylestown, I stopped at the next closest Genuardi’s to me and ran into the cashier I used to often see at the Feasterville branch.

Cashier: Mr. Robinson, it’s been ages.
Me: Hi, *looks at name tag* Kathy.
Cashier:  You look great.  Hey, Flo, this is a guy that I used to know from Feasterville.
Elderly 2nd Cashier: How did yo know each other?  Did he work there?
Cashier: No, he was a member of the late night shopping club, always came in near close.
Me: Yeah, you got to have the store to yourself.
Cashier: I miss those days.
Elderly 2nd Cashier: Late night shopping club, Kathy you tramp.  Sounds fun, shopping in the dark *smirks*.  Maybe I could join *winks at me*, you know if you wanted to start it up again.

I have on my list of 141 Reasons Why I Don’t Want to Be fat “I’d like to be hit on”.  If this is the form that will take and this is the result of my current size, they will be seeing a lot more of me as I have much weight to put back on.

 

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My  mother and I visited Sam’s Club every other week for years when I was a child, a magical place combining free samples, large televisions, and a giant bin of cardboard boxes.   Then Sam’s Club dropped from our family purchasing habits and my dad maintained a membership strictly to purchase 10 gallons of hydraulic oil every now and then.  I borrowed his card and ventured to Sam’s this time to prepare for a party.  The proportions had not changed as 15 lbs was the smallest size I could find of chicken breasts but the electronics department had.  Sam’s now had DSLRs which I presume are available as a six pack for 5% less.  I escaped with about 60 lbs of food plus paper products of which most will probably not be consumed this weekend.  Should my guests consume all 5 lbs of cocktail peanuts, 6 lbs of apples, and 8 lbs of cheese, I will be proud.  Otherwise, I should have left overs that extend clear to the next ice age.

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Leaving Montreal proved difficult, mostly due to a CF of construction.  Almost all East-West highways were closed around the bus station where I needed to deposit Adam so he could return to Toronto.  Diligence won out, and after pushing the “Detour” button on my GPS five times, Adam made his bus with seconds to spare.  I headed south towards Burlington, VT to meet Braedon.

Burlington is a “Why Does This Exist” town for me noted for having expensive shops that people buy things from because they’re expensive and with a faux-folksiness that may be less than skin deep covered in a veneer of chocolate and maple syrup.  David Sedaris was performing that night in a local theater and for only $75 I could have seen it.

Braedon is a college kid and comports himself as such.  We had a lunch of Chinese food in a mall food court and my “is there anything neat around here?” was met with a shoulder shrug.

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Braedon looks to the right

The neatest thing we found

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A performer... of some sort.

We walked to the quay, I took a picture for some visitors, we walked backed from the quay, we walked around Main Street, I purchased fudge, I departed.

Thus ended my time in Burlington, VT.  It was nice to meet Braedon but I found the area otherwise uncompelling.  It was designed for those who are not faint of wallet and without the draw of boutiqueness I am hopeful that it will be crushed under the boot heel of Amazon.com soon.  The one saving grace was the large number of people walking really big dogs.  I like big dogs.

Driving south to Albany was the Vermont I wanted to see.  Fall’s palette was vast and warm.  Hay bales were arranged to make animals.  Scarecrows were all smiling and several held glasses of wine.  Every shopping center had one vacant store and the whole area had a dilapidated dignity that said “we were once great but are ok with not being that anymore”.  I hope I face death with such dignity.

BADASS HDR OF A QUAY

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HDR!

I have a fixed version where the mountains don’t look like they’re phasing out of spacetime but have yet to upload it.

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This weekend was looking to be a hot one and I was going to be trudging around an asphalt jungle in long pants so I stopped by Men’s Warehouse to see what options they had for pants cooler than the standard cotton I use, maybe a tissue chino or some other modern fabric.

Me: I’m looking for dress pants that are as thermally cool as possible.
Associate: Do you care about color?
Me: No, dark or light, doesn’t matter.
Associate:  Do you care what cut the legs are?
Me: No, as long as it covers them.
Associate: Then I know the perfect thing.  *Grabs pants* These are a traditional fabric being made of flax, with a stylish short leg cut, and…
Me: You’re proposing I wear linen manpris?
Associate: These also have a stylish draw string for an adjustable waste so that…
Me: Pardon, you’re proposing I wear draw string linen manpris?  I don’t consider those dress.
Associate: Well, it does absorb much more moisture before feeling damp, billows lightly, and gets softer as you wash them.
Me: None of those address the fundamental problem I have that you’re proposing I wear, with a straight face, drawstring linen manpris as a “dress pant”.
Associate: How about a light wool?
Me: Wonderful.

I miss you, Lee.

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I needed more 2-stroke engine oil, and went to TruValue to get some. On checkout:

Attendant: Would you like to become a member of the TruValue Member Club?
Customer-in-Front: No.
Attendant: I think you should.
Customer-in-Front: Ok. *receives and fills out form, line advances*
Attendant: Would you like to become a member of the TruValue Member Club?
Me: Will it reduce the price of the items I’m purchasing?
Attendant: No.
Me: Will this purchase reduce the cost of future purchases of similar items?
Attendant: No. But you should.
Me: Will it guarantee me a place in the after life?
Guy Behind Me: *huff* C’mon!
Attendant: No.
Me: Did it save the guy in front of me any money?
Attendant: No.
Guy Behind Me: I don’t have all good damn day!
Me to Guy: Really? The guy in front of us took 2 minutes to apply for a member card that in no way affected his purchase and you’re going ape on me for asking about the program? Calm down. If you want me to, I’ll apologize for having a human interaction.

The fellow behind me glared at me. He was twice my size and if he wanted to rumble in the parking lot, I would have quickly said uncle. Nothing came of it, and as I drove off, I looked for him in my rear-view mirror. He looked sad.

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I don’t like when store clerks try to make commentary of what I buy.  Today’s basket included chocolate morsels, pudding mix, and butter.

Attendant: Baking something sweet, are we?
Me: Nope, just trying to finally off my diabetic neighbor with a fake peace offering.  If I’m lucky, his dog will eat the dropped chocolate and I’ll get a two-fer.