I received a note of good news during the work day, well above what I thought I would, and I yelled “Action dinosaur with hat!” a favorite phrase of mine. At that moment, the Hispanic fellow from housekeeping was coming through and looked at me as I yelled that line.
Him: ¿Que? Me: Dinosario de [...]
My failures with Spanish are well documented. Today I had a spectacular burst of competence and was able to convey an idea clearly:
Me: Señor, hay un problema. Housekeeping: ¿Qué es? Me: Creo que hay un problema con el orinal. Housekeeping: Hm… ¿Puede ser más específico? Me: Sí, hay agua en el suelo. Creo que [...]
The battery to my laptop came with a warning sheet that repeated the same six warnings in 10 languages about how to dispose of it properly, not light it on fire, don’t drink out of it and so on. I thought these warnings would be the same for each language and my passing familiarity with [...]
I cleaned out a dusty closet with a floor covered in drop-down ceiling pieces and grabbed a broom from housekeeping. After sweeping I tried returning it but a member of housekeeping was in the storage area and gave me a quizzical look. So, I did what I always do in these cases: I butcher the [...]
I cleaned out a dusty closet with a floor covered in drop-down ceiling pieces and grabbed a broom from housekeeping. After sweeping I tried returning it but a member of housekeeping was in the storage area and gave me a quizzical look. So, I did what I always do in these cases: I butcher the [...]
Literal translation from conversation with housekeeping:
Him: Why do you not bring in cake? Me: I have broken my kitchen. Him: What part? Me: The box that heats things. Him: The microwave? Me: No, the box that heats things that is not the microwave. Him: The toaster? Me: No, the box that heats thing that [...]
I’ve been speaking with the Hispanic custodian around lunch every day, and most of our conversations center on trivial things as I really don’t know enough Spanish to ask him his opinions of Hegelian dialectics, but for about the last month, he’s brought up the same damn topic every day: Do I like the taste [...]
I ran into a hispanic member of housekeeping today that I hadn’t seem in a year or two and was reminded of one of my greatest moments of translingual butchery: I was attempting to tell him to use a specific power outlet to attach the floor buffer as it overloaded the circuit and shut down [...]
My brother has recently taken a fancy to scented candles. Today I noticed the one burning was Apple Pie and noticed the below the title the label said “Pie de manzana” which I assume is Spanish. Literally translated, this comes out to “apple foot”, a condition I’d rather not smell in candle form.
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