Leader 1: We have no American Indian Affairs adviser.
Leader 2: Do we really need someone to advise on having affairs with American Indians.
Damn straight! If you don’t know how to cheat on your spouse with an indigenous person you should have a corner struck from your Disaffected White Suburbanite card.
Relayed conversation from coworker yesterday:
Kid 1: Well what happened to Jesus after he died?
Kid 2: He went away.
Kid 1: Well, what happened to his body?
Kid 2: It wasn’t in the cave where he was buried.
Kid 1: Why not?
Kid 2: Lions.
During Scrabble:
Joe Naylor: Why did you spell FACE, you could have spelled FARCE and hit the double word score.
Anthony: FARCE, I thought that was a made up word.
I only heard the Admin side of the conversation but I think what’s excluded is obvious.
Answerer: Yes, he’ll be expected to sleep outside in either a tent or Adirondack.
The tents are canvas.
The Adirondacks are wood and have three walls.
The cots are canvas too.
The Adirondacks have wooden bunks.
Wood.
Yes, they’re supposed to have three walls, and also have roofs.
A towel would be a good idea for the pool.
I understand you don’t like being outdoors, your son will be fine.
Yes, it’s perfectly normal for him to enjoy being outside.
Honestly, I’ll be impressed if he showers twice.
The latrines can be scary at first but as soon as he sees someone else use them he’ll be fine.
No, you’re not asking too many questions.
I’ll be here to answer any questions for you.
*Hang-up* Well, there goes my lunch break.
Now that I’m at camp I can’t have my traditional breakfast of a Scotch and a handful of Tums.
-Rob Scafidi
Todd Warner plays racket ball with a bowling ball and a waffle iron.
-Kevin Ott
Coworker:Â My son’s looking for a good sci-fi book, nothing too tricky, he’s 13.
Me: Hm…. Ender’s Game would probably be a good start, or if he likes it a little darker, Neuromancer. What’s he reading now?
Coworker: Some fantasy crap, chipmunks with swords and shit like that.
Coworker:Â My son’s looking for a good sci-fi book, nothing too tricky, he’s 13.
Me: Hm…. Ender’s Game would probably be a good start, or if he likes it a little darker, Neuromancer. What’s he reading now?
Coworker: Some fantasy crap, chipmunks with swords and shit like that.
After the Camporee, Teejay Green, Valerie Green and I got together for gravity ribs at the Churchville Inn. It was 6:58 and I needed to be there by 7 PM, so needless to say, I was early. I got a table and while waiting dicked around with my new IR thermometer shooting various things around my room and discovered that while my normal drink at home with 3 small ice cubes is 38°F on average, a full glass of ice yields soda closer to 33°F. Anyway, while waiting, I listened to the conversation at the table next to me that had apparently just learned that Dumbledore was gay when the kid piped up and said “Next we’ll find our that Harry’s a damn Jew.”
Remember, start your kids down the road of life-long projectionism with an early dose of anti-Semitism….
In the last week, I’ve been sent a document in WordPerfect format, Corel Draw format, observed 2 people using Lotus Notes and discovered a piece of software at work that only runs on Windows ME.
I think these are signs of the end times.