My first day back at Bristol-Myer Squibb proved interesting as the employment firm had failed to properly tell my boss that I’d return today. Much of the day was cobbling together odd jobs as I had no computer or access to many of the lab devices without the appropriate login. At one point I was sorting a I-shit-you-not 50-lb bag of mail when a co-worker not knowing of my return asks me “did you just drop this far or is this what actuaries do?” I was angry at first until I realized that with my pay raise I made more than him. Living well is the best vengeance.
Now that school’s over my brain wasn’t quite sure what to do so I started the day at 6:00 PM Saturday by reading the Penny Arcade comic strip for about 5 hours. Following that, I did some Christmas shopping for my father who’s come up with an odd Christmas list. As he and his children has succeeded rather than requesting status symbols from a higher socio-economic group he’s merely requested really nice ones for the one he’s in. For instance as a truck driver he likes flannel because it suffers changes in temperature well but they weren’t warm enough, so rather than asking for a fleece or jacket he’s requested LLBean flannel. I suppose LLBean has superior materials scientists designing cutting edge fabrics in today’s most popular clan tartans. For the record, I’d shoot myself if my last name were Teall of Teallach (although based on the name our family probably owned the town… or were slaves). If he were a hobo he’d ask for a gold and cashmere bindle.Editor’s Note: While checking the definition of bindle via Wikipedia.org I discovered a wonderful passage that I wanted to pass on: “Though bindles are rarely seen anymore—hobos of the late 20th Century and early 21st Century most often prefer shopping carts, even though these are obviously difficult to haul onto a hopped freight train—bindles are still widely seen in popular culture as a prevalent anachronism.” wikipedia.org entry for Bindle. This is why Wikipedia is better than Encyclopedia Britainnica.
I wanted to get my brother a USB headset so everyone can hear his dullardy comments whilst playing Team Fortress 2 and purchased a headset from eBay used. The posting contained considerable Engrish and shipped from Anytown, USA. I popped open the box to check that they were working and thought them better than my set. Glancing at the box I saw that my headphones would probably fit nicely in it. Looks like Ryan will be receiving used headphones indeed.
After 26 hours awake I finished my last two finals I returned home, cancelled my evening plans and went to bed. I woke up later to a dark house to a baby crying. If you’ve ever woken up in a house with nothing but the sound of rain and a crying baby it’s like waking up in a Stanley Kubrick film. A 1/2 second later my brother and his friends were heard. Apparently the kid wailed his head on a coffee table. Oddly, I’ve gotten used to waking to sound of a women being stabbed (red fox cry), soon I’ll be able to sleep through anything but the panegyrics of a syphilitic hobo midget. Hot cha!
So days when I spend the whole time doing only a particular thing like sorting Magic cards, studying or documenting toys I wish I had as a wee lad nothing interesting happens and then, when all seems lost, I order 3 thin crust chicken pizzas from Dominos and have the call answered by someone who’s profoundly skilled in the art of phone sex with statements like “what toppings do you want on your… pizzas” in that dirty whispery way that makes it sound like she’s cheating on her husband. I don’t know if it’s coincidence or pure marketing genius, but either way I look forward to purchasing more pizza.
Combining pear juice, cinnamon and instant diet peach iced tea mix has resulted in a far less harmonious concoction than I first planned.
I collected together all the books I needed to return for school that I’ve accumulated and no longer need and when all was said and done it weighed 68 pounds. Luckily my Bill Blass luggage was up to the task. Pulling it through the serpentine line in front of the book buyers I arrive at a station holding two books and the cashier was happy to see the reduced load. Seeing her smile I picked up the luggage case, heaved in on the counter, smiled and said “Gotcha!” I have made an enemy. After selling 328 dollars in books I had an empty luggage case and sought Greek lunch cart #3 for a celebratory gyro. It was delicious.
The final went okay. I may wreck the class curve by getting a 55/100. In other news, Tom Leitz, another Assistant Camp Director, asked me to finish the post cards for the December 29th staff reunion by this weekend so Bill the Camp Director could review them before sending them out. I fear attendance may be low as Bill doesn’t come back until the New Year. It appears Bill has come up with an ingenious way of reducing the cost of the event by having no one attend. I wish I could be as sharp as a Scouting Professional.
I studied for 10 hours today. 10, I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. I single-handedly learned the ins and outs of multiple regression, multicolinearity, the Durban Watson test and the Chow test and I feel confident I know everything I need to know about the topic at hand. My final is tomorrow and I look forward to finding out how misplaced my confidence was.
Tonight, as is our Sunday tradition, after skipping church we voted to determine from where we should get dinner. I was confident that Chinese would win but Amanda and Frank threw off the vote and Taco Bell won. I voiced my discord about the selection and Amanda assured me everything would be fine. Much to my surprise, it was and asked how she knew it would be, to which she replied “I skip the drivethru and go through the normal line so I can see the cookstaff. If the blacks are making fried chicken, the Mexicans are making tacos and the trailer trash is at the register, everything works out fine.” Yet more evidence that there’s a fine line between generalization and stereotyping and navigating it can lead to happy stomach.