The shorts thing really isn’t sinking in to the Temple Folk. At Neshaminy, everyone knew, that simple. They knew it wasn’t for a particular reason, I wasn’t being macho, I just didn’t like pants. The extent of this oddity came today when I was walking to class near and one legged man in a wheelchair wearing one of those ridiculous jester ski hats and most people were looking at me.
Author: Terry
Martha Stewart has trained you well
I stopped at the Blawenburg Market today as I was early for a meeting and asked the salesperson how they got started. She indicated she was fed up with catering and wanted to do something simpler and authentic, “country living” as she put it. She then charged me $7.00 for a breakfast sandwich prepared by a Mexican. By Country Living I think she meant ruthless capitalism, but close.
Dave picks up chicks, straight out of the baby stroller
Dave Senior still has the touch when it comes to the ladies.
Most people don’t understand Dave’s abilities as most of his targets aren’t a significant fraction of PA’s age of consent. I simply consider it planning ahead. Kudos, Dave.
So, six morons with atlatls walk in a bar…
Atlatlry: I’m going to answer the age old question. What do 6 retards looking for an atlatl dart look like? Something like this. The one or the left threw the atlatl further than the dart. The 3rd from the left was proud he got his dart beyond the caution tape. The final fellow realized that the further back he leaned, the further it went to the point where only a ninja move from Dave P. prevented someone’s nose from being picked with a dart.
Best Dominos Guy Ever
THE DOMINOS PIZZA DELIVERY GUY IS THE REINCARNATION OF EDGER ALLEN POE. Â He calls to get directions, realizes where my house is and says “the home whose driveway’s end is in night’s darkness where the trees bend to warn you of what waits at the mountain top”. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
Head in the game
What can I help you with?
Me: We need an end cap for a atlatl dart quiver to hold 6″ wooden competative atlatl darts for an Scouting event this weekend.
Lowe’s Associate: Â Aisle 43.
Now that’s keeping your head in the game.
It's like a balloon and something bad happening
People who can’t make comparisons make me sad:
Lowe’s Associate: So, it’s like a big arrow?
Me: No, there’s no bow.
Lowe’s Associate: Â Then what is it?
Me: A 6-foot arm actuated dart.
Lowe’s Associate: like a slingshot?
Me: No, there’s no elastic material.
Lowe’s Associate: Oh, so like a lawn dart?
Me: ……….. Yes, a lawn dart that can tear through plywood and kill any land mammal ever to have lived.
Lowe’s Associate: Â Okay, I think I threw those when I was on the track team. (Or something like that, by then my ears were turning themselves off in an effort to reduce my blood pressure).
Free the Grapes!
Periodically, I investigate a random issue and lately it’s been shipping wine across state borders. Â I’m pretty sure I have no problem with this and I checked the Wine Spirits Wholesalers Assc. web page for propaganda. Â I found a section entitled “Cyberbuzz” that talks about the dangers of unregulated alcohol. Â Although, I believe they missed an H in the title image. Â Check it here
Don't talk about computers on company time… unless it's my computer
My computer hobbying has gotten around the office and co-workers have asked me a more than one computer question.  Today, one of the engineers was asking me about upgrading his processor and as I told him what he’d have to do the engineer saw his manager coming over and quickly switched topics when the manager says hi and immediately looks over his shoulders looking for his boss and asks me what he needs to do de-crap his daughter’s computer.
I have no idea where this skillet I'm using is
I was looking for my electric skillet that I had left at camp I had asked around and got no response until one person mentioned he hadn’t seen it, but indicated that the electric griddle he’d found sure made great eggs. *Laser beams*