The last Magic tournament of the season is usually a festive affair as Week #8 is usually low on Scouts and high on grim determination when it comes to the staff.  During the setup, a CIT was loafing and I asked him to help set-up or leave, he replied “and if I don’t?” to which I cocked my head to the side and said “we do it again next week.”  Doing so would be patently impossible, but the person in question knew I was a volunteer, and volunteers tend to do crazy things so he chose to start moving chairs than try his luck.

The event itself was unremarkable and I spent most of it asking overly probing questions to an adult to does XML metadata management for the Department of Justice and after 20 minutes of working specifically to do so I got him to say “there is nothing we do that directly benefits the public”.  I cut the price of all singles in half and a kid who’d been at an event earlier in the season noted:

Kid: If I wait even longer, will the prices go down again?
Me: At the end of the evening, I raise the price to twice an eight of their sell price.  So you better buy now.
Kid: *his eyes lit up* Yes.

The staff realized I had checked out when I started throwing product at staff members.  They, again, thought I was crazy but I set aside 5% of prize packs to give to staff who give up their Tuesdays to help.

All in all, about 300 kids participated in a tournament this year, bought $1800 in singles, and we had only 1 trip to the health lodge.  I don’t know why the kid went to the health lodge, just that week 5 a kid in the sealed draft event held up his product shaking and saying “can I go to the nurse?”

I’ve run tournaments at summer camp for 10 years now and I think this will have been my last one.  Thanks to the staff and campers that have made bringing Magic: The Gathering to Ockanickon Scout Reservation largely delightful and rewarding.  Joe, and Anthony, you’re machines.

After running my New York City dry run yesterday I headed further north to visit a friend in Albany whose company I had gone embarrassingly long without.  He works in public health which I admire and have considered him the slightly more version of me that could emerge should I get my shit together.  The night I arrived we mostly talked and walked around Albany and I took what I thought would prove to be nice HDR shots of the New York capitol buildings at night.  We retired to Denny’s and my host and I requested pitchers of diet cola while shit-talking medical ethicists.  The server thought herself clever and gave us instead carafes which would have worked if: 1) she had added ice to them.  2) refilled the carafe instead of the drink glasses as the whole point of requesting pitchers was to reduce the work required of her.  Pat ordered mozzarella sticks which had the flavor and texture of cheese-flavored sawdust from hewn particle board and politely asked the server to remove the largely untouched appetizer from the check.  He hesitated for a moment at this request until I said “ma’am, see that one that’s not entirely eaten?  That one was mine.  I’m a fat man and I couldn’t even finish it the thing was so bad.” She nodded approvingly in a matter that said “yes, you both fat AND of sound logic” and the item was dropped.

I’m taking a trip to New York City next weekend with someone whose time I value and wanted to do a dry run of the route to check that I’d allowed proper time to move from one leg of mass transit to another.  The plan was to drive to Secaucus, train to Penn Station, subway to Time Square then Grand Central, and then train to near Fordham University and then to eventually unwind this sequence doing things along the way.  Midway through the run as I had accumulated all the bits requires to made the circle I pulled out a wad of ticket stubs, metro cards, receipts, and entrance passes that formed a bolus of verification in my pocket such that one could probably calculate a reasonably accurate credit score from its contents.  God bless the breast pocket.

The MTA North out of Grand Central doesn’t seem like you’re moving from one place of a certain type to another of that type but more so that you’re escaping from something and going to a place marked on maps as “elsewhere”.  When I found out the train made different stops at different times and my stop was not one of them, I got off at 125th street in Harlem and found myself in a distinctly different place of such alien character to where I had just been that it would be like taking the R3 out of Suburban Station in Philadelphia and arriving in what appeared to be Prague 20 minutes later.  There was a man in a dilapiated suit with a bowler hat of a kind that always makes me think “that guy trains penguins”.  A statuesque Eastern bloc woman was arguing over the cost of a slice of pizza with what appeared in comparison to be a lilliputian Hispanic man and a very enthusiastic Borat-like bus driver was announcing stops.  I drank this in for a few minutes before taking a returning train into Grand Central and as the buildings rose in height I felt again in the shadow of civilization.

I was now back to a type of cultural smorgasbord to which I thought myself accustomed and trauma must have been written on my face as I received a wink from a pretty black woman that seemed to say “you’re safe”.  I nodded back and it wasn’t until she got up to leave at the next stop that I realized that she and the entire row of people on that side of the car were dwarfs.  I <3 NY

Sneakers has continued his rain of terror and my father has dutifully cleaned up piles of clothing left out so Sneakers upped his game.  This morning he lept on my father’s bed, meowed waking my dad, and when my dad reached out to pet him, peed on the comforter.

Me: So, are you mad at him?
Dad: Not really.  More jealous.
Me: Jealous?
Dad: Yeah, I can’t get away peeing everywhere like he does and at my age, I wish I could make a stream like he does.

Ah, the human prostate, nature’s timebomb.

My brother got a new dog creatively named “Rex”.  He is a mix of genetic party favors but appears to have a goodly streak of American Pitbull Terrier in him marked by the a wide smile I would call arrogant (the dog, not my brother).  Rex is young and when he came over our aged Max quickly tired of him.

Me: Can you tell your dog to stop mounting Max?
Ryan: Max started it.
Me: Max can barely make it up stairs let alone make an effective pass and literally screwing the pooch.  Please restrain your dog.
Ryan: You’re just jealous that my dog is better than your dog.
Me: You were the one that picked out Max in the first place.  So, sure, you’re better at picking out dogs than you are.
Ryan: That’s what I thought.

One of roles I assume at work is that of inhabitant of a sort of technological Potemkin Village.  While my primary employer does have neat stuff like 3D scanning equipment, an SLA set-up, and some pimp multidimensional visualization software, these are rarely used and never in conjunction, but for tours we pull all these technologies together to give the illusion of living in the near future.  My job also never requires me to use these technologies except to impress people during tours where I sit behind a glass wall and act as if I can’t see the gawkers wearing oversized lab coats as they are dragged around the building to see our “Operation of Tomorrow”.

During today’s tour, a group came by and, having been notified in advance, I was spinning around and arbitarily modifying a CAD drawing of some piece of production equipment by adding a racing stripe, wings, or some other bullshit when I heard a tour participant lean over to the tour leader and say “can he hear us?”  The reply was “yes, but their work requires focus so don’t be too loud.”  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tour participant lean very close to the glass separating my office from the hallway, squint at the wizardry of my screen and then she waved at me.  I didn’t move in response and she said “He is focused”.  The tour guide indicated that the group would return to this area after visiting elsewhere and I prepared a gift for their next visit: A sign that I posted in the window that said “Please do not tap glass”.

My Roomba has become the 3rd pet in our household after Max the dog and Sneakers the cat.  When he gets stuck on a stack of papers or pinned under furniture, the housemates know how to extract him, tap his clean button twice and have our robovacuum continue on his merry way.  The other pets have also welcomed it into their hearts by having coping strategies beyond merely scattering should it come within 10 feet of them as they did when the Roomba was first acquired.  The cat now blithely jumps to a higher surface and lets the Roomba go about its business.  Max knows that the edges of his bed are sufficiently that the Roomba is stopped by the plush barrier and retreats to it when he hears the Roomba’s whirring.

Today, Max was a bit more splayed out than usual and the Roomba kept hitting his extended paws.  Max would dutifully nudge over an inch, the Roomba would hit him again, and Max would rotate a bit more.  The Roomba got Max to do two full revolutions before Max found a pose where he was entirely within the confines of his dog bed.  The Roomba now had another role, dance partner.

 

The transition from “Internet acquaintance” to “Internet friend” occurs when I meet someone in meatspace.  After figuring out in what ways their profile image is a misrepresentation and catching how much the quality of their microphone mangles their voice, a connection is made and the person may emerge on the other side as “friend”.

Dan Bergman is a reasonably large fellow who loves dogs and is ok with one of those facts.  He was tired of being considered “the fat kid” despite being in his 20s and he seemed to appreciate the difficulty I’ve been going through to get my weight under control.  We left TI: Philly as both friends and rivals as we’d reciprocally challenged each other to be the first to 250 lbs.  He had 35 lbs to lose, I had 70 but the benefit of inertia.  Today he contacted me

“I was riding my bike today and as I sweat I reached into my backpack and pulled out one of the bottles of water you gave me.  I almost drank it but stopped myself.  It was enemy water.”

Apparently he got home in a bit of a daze.  Dan, I’m glad you’re taking the challenge serious, but drink the damn water.

I made cookies for TI: Philly with the intent of shipping some to a friend now in California.  The half batch for him was prepared, placed in a zip-lock bag, and packed in a USPS priority box which I placed in the fridge until I had a chance to send it later that day.  Time ran out for me to send it before the weekend and on returning Monday evening and looking for something to eat, found the box I had forgotten to send.  I didn’t want to ship them at this point and happily ate them.  I did wind up shipping the cookies, it was just to me in the future.

Thank you, Conrad.  They were delicious.

Dawn came at 11 am or so as we left our queen-size coffin and checked our bags in the basement of the Hotel Pennsylvania including our umbrellas as the forecast listed the chance of rain at 20%.  Oops.  We first head south to near the World Trade Center site which was still a seeming pile of rubble like every other construction project in America and here I found comfort.  While the destruction of the plaza was an event of such enormity the numerals of the date are their own memorial the site itself was being consumed by the American industrial beast with a determination that makes me proud.  The area around contains parks, restaurants, business complexes, and a coast whose inspirational view of New Jersey.

Heading east we hit Trinity church, burial place of Alexander Hamilton, James Watt, and Roger Morris.  The stained glass of the apse were exceptional in the small church and the ancient graveyard felt like it was stubborn in its stand against the encroaching modernity of Wall Street.

Trinity Choir

Apse glasswork with Suzie for scale

 

Wall Street was busy as befits Wall Street as it is nearly impossible to pass it on a vehicle with all the inter-building pedestrian traffic and this only clears up as one goes from business hub to the ring of aspirational stores that ring NYSE, the Treasury Museum, and the Federal Reserve.    The New York Stock Exchange had before it the largest American flag I’d ever seen and I had to climb over many European tourists to grab this shot of the tenderness of the symbol of liberty on the stone symbol of capitalism.  I think they make a good couple and would survive poorly with out each other.
NYSE Flags

We headed again East to have lunch in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge in the rain.  Roebling’s foresight in creating a bridge vastly larger that what was required has allowed his great grandchildren’s generation to see something transplanted from another world.  The bridge is sturdy in a way that was alien to both then and now using more materials than anyone thought necessary but without the advances of structural steel and engineering that allow for the almost gossamer radial span bridges that would come 80 years later.  Vendors were selling almost name brands at almost discount prices as tourists queued up for a boat tour.

Brooklyn Bridge

Next we went north through Chinatown with its legion juxtapositions.
McChina

Heading west towards the Canal Street subway hub led us through market stalls where I could identify only a 3rd of the fruits and vegetables and shops with more gold and silver in them than seemed possible interspersed with one-off branches for banks whose home business was from 20 different countries.  Both of these being stores of value that have in their own way become traditional.  I wonder what layer of meaning lied buried under my ignorance of Mandarin and Cantonese.

The subway ride north was steamy as the water absorbed in the rain combined with sweat when exposed to the perpetual warmth of the subway terminals to create a steamy cloud of unwashed humanity.  This smell goes between comforting, disgusting, and funny depending on one’s mood and disposition.  We got off north of central park and began walking west to the Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine, the Episcopal seat of the Diocese of New York.

New York buildings possess a grandness to themselves but the cathedral possesses a sense of grandeur that is something apart.  Most big buildings are surrounded by other big buildings gradually dwindling in size but the cathedral has gardens, sculpture, fountains, sheds, convent/monastic structures, and educational facilities.  The trees are much larger than those that normally line the street so the steeple always looms with no obvious path through the grounds until you find the massive doors.
Vagrant outside St. John
The inside is vast enough that there is something akin to mall walkers that walk around the nave without entering the church proper whose whose surface area is 121,000 square feet.    The ceiling rises 120 feet in some areas which creates a sense of cloistered openness as if one is in a grotto surrounded by miles of rock as the mishmash of Gothic, Byzantine, Roman, and more modern elements come through as veins from some architectural quarry held up by the 8 main granite pillars that plunge over 70 feet before striking bed rock.  The doors have a set of prayer candles near them that had prostrations in a dozen languages for everything to solving world hunger to the lose of a cat.  The celestory is magnificent and the glasswork was awe-inspiring even when the building was wrapped in the inky greyness of the day.

I had dragged Mike and Suzie 30 blocks to see the church and after some time in it, I think we all found the trek worth it.  St. John’s the Unfinished again inspired in me a notion of the numinous for the second time in my life.  THe first time was tinged with a sense of the divine, this time a sense of humanity.
Candles and John the Divine

Our final stop was a Hungarian pastry shop where gruff 20 somethings read Camus next to MacBooks.  I had a poppy seed pastry and we unleashed a flurry of text messages to our respective parties when a clock check indicated we need to leave.  We made the southbound Northeast Corridor train with little time to spare and sunk into our seats with a sense that had escaped, not in the sense that we were being held against our will but captivated.  We would return.

The evening wound down in Princeton over dinner with a friend consisting of brick oven pizza and artisanal cheese.  How can I refuse something with “artisanal” in its name?

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