Me: Hi, my name is Terry Robinson.
Secretary: Hi, Terry, what can I do for you?
Me: I’m here to declare my intention to win the Holiday party.
Secretary: What do you mean?
Me: It’s a potluck, no?
Secretary: Yes, but it’s not a competition.
Me: That’s what losers say.

Side Note:

No one at work says “good night” when they leave for the day. I was annoyed by this at first until I realized that leaving people have no easy way of knowing who’s still in. I suppose one could just yell “good night” into a seemingly empty office but I can see how someone would be opposed to this.