I met someone for breakfast in Newtown and, shortly after ordering, an old lady came in, purchased two bags of potato chips and sat by the door eating them.  She would ask us how we were doing and without a pause say “fine”.  After three such encounters, we moved to Starbucks and ran into her on the way there where she had a new bag of potato chips and again told us how we were doing.  On the way out and back to our cars, we encountered her again where she had acquired a fourth bag of potato chips and did us the service of having our smalltalk for us.

At least she didn’t call me “sexy legs”.