1) A woman purchased over $200 of Stouffer’s single serving meals and $60 in sliced deli meats.
2) An elderly person passed a coupon to the cashier. Â The cashier said it was invalid. Â The elderly person said that was ok. Â There was no argument.
Tag: Genuardis
I Miss Genuardis
As a child, I was always told that Genuardis, a local grocery chain, was owned by the mob as a front and it explained much. They had ridiculous hours of 5 AM to midnight and no one was ever there before seven or after 11 and I assumed they stayed open so people could drop protection money or some other such shenanigans. Their store brand was amazing as I think it was a way to launder money by opening bags of Chips Ahoy! and repackaging them giving you three or four money trails to then follow. Over the years they went legit and were bought out by Safeway and store I knew and loved was gone forever. The private label went down to store brand quality and today I sat around for 20 minutes waiting for them to open as their store hours were now 7 to 11. This also meant I could no longer have my biweekly commune with the stock-people by food-shopping near midnight.
I normally have no strong preference for the local and was fine when B&N took out a local bookseller but I miss my old grocery store. I’m just not going to be comfortable going to a store with full knowledge that a kid that steals cigarettes will be met by the cops rather than a hirsute Italian man in a 3-piece suit.
Supermarket Karma
I tend to play a bit loose with cart handling in the supermarket often allowing the cart to get yards ahead of me. Today, I did a shove near the egg section and the weighting of the cart caused it to wail it into a freezer which then squealt (yeah, it’s probably not a word) like the compressor equivalent of a stuck pig. And how did the universe return to alignment? The teller mischarged me by a factor of two and I lost 20 minutes of my life arguing with clerk that $6.00 – $2.00 – $0.79 does not equal $2.79. At one critical point she had two calculators and a legal pad in front of her.
Bacon Cookies and Quantum Tunneling
A while back, I thought about making bacon chip cookies, and tonight I did. They were quite nice, and I think I’d prepare them when I have curious company or need to fulfill a stereotype. The more interesting part was acquiring the bacon at the Genuardi’s Checkout Line.
Me: Please don’t waste a bag to wrap the bacon separately.
Cashier: You don’t want the bacon touching the other food, do you?
Me: Why not?
Cashier: It’s bacon, it has juices.
Me: So you’re telling me that your store sells leaky bacon?
Cashier: No, but some of the bacon might go through the packaging.
Me: Please, don’t wrap it.
Cashier: Ok, but make sure you cook it just in case something gets in.
I’m confident that the shrink wrapped packaging inspected by the FDA for a meat that’s probably irradiated that I’m going to prepare over a 350° griddle and then crumble up and put into a cookie to be baked at 375° should be sufficiently safe. Should the bacon magically exit the packaging through an aggregate quantum super-position tunneling effect in a process that would normally require millions of times the age of the universe to happen, I’d gladly suffer any intestinal disease to have witnessed a macroscopic manifestation of such quantum wierdness.
If the baconness were to spread, it’s more likely to be stopped by the glass containers of the other ingredients that shared a back with it than by the seran wrap-like condom of a wasted grocery bag. Besides, what what if bacon-ness spread? I don’t see how that’s a bad thing. If bacon held its consistency better I’d use it as a coffee stirrer and in its thicker form a kind of edible fork for things that are scooped like rice or oatmeal.
My First Shopping Trip
Me: Ma’am, do you know where I can find canned blueberries or a berry compote?
Genuardi’s Attendant: Hm… I think they’re in party supplies, they go in birthday pies. If they’re not their, I’m pretty sure it’s in with the pastas in the Ethnic Food Aisle. If that doesn’t work, try condiments with other crushed vegetables.
(20 minutes of searching her stupid red herrings)
Me: Ma’am, I found them. In the canned food aisle.
Genuardi’s Attendant: Where?
Me: In the canned fruit section. Specifically, canned berries.
The avocados were way better when I was a kid
Over the past few weeks I’ve been making an effort to wake up earlier, and by that I mean before 10AM on days that I don’t have school. Â Success was slow at first but today I officially turned into an old fart. Â I woke up 5:30AM and did what any reasonable 22 year old would. Â I showered and went produce shopping! Â And if you still doubt me I talked to James (not Jim, he yells if you call him that) the Produce Guy for 25 minutes. Â I learned the difference between an anaheim and a poblano pepper, how to pick an avocado and how shitty my social life has become.