Preparing for tournaments is a process of continual refinement.  I found that I’ll stay more hydrated by consuming two 1.5 liter bottles of water than a single gallon bottle as I won’t tote the gallon bottle around.  I found that if I count to three before delivering a ruling, I’ll probably give a better ruling.  Finally, I found that the easiest way to keep an area clean is to remove trash as it accumulates.  Once a trash depot appears on a table it will become a magnet for other garbage.

My goal for improvement this tournament was to not flash players while picking up garbage.  The judge shirt is a bit shorter than I prefer and bending over either involves me contorting like I’m wearing a miniskirt or doing an impromptu plumber impression.  So, I decided to simply wear suspenders which bring the pants up higher causing more coverage and conveniently concealing my dunlop. So, I asked who I thought was the head judge intending it to be a joke and to show my cleverness:

Me: Can I wear suspenders Saturday?
Him: I don’t know, they’re not part of the official uniform.
Me: So?  They keep my pants up, that seems like a good thing.
Him: Let me think about it.  I don’t know, I’m going to leave it up to the head judge.

2nd conversation with other guy who was the head judge

Me: Can I wear suspenders Saturday?
Him: It’s not part of the uniform, why are you wearing them?
Me: …to keep my pants up.
Him: I don’t know, let me consult some other judges.
Me: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME.
Him: Hold on.
Him: Ok, I asked some higher-level judges and we’ve come to a few conclusions.  Maybe.  First, are they tasteful?
Me: They’re black.
Him: Ok, you may wear them, but there’s disagreement, so we’re not going to allow them at PTQ-level events or higher.

It appears alternate modalities of keeping ones pants now requires a pardon from the president or the pope.