Me: Jon, which of the following should I do, learn to eat fire or learn to jump onto a moving freight train?
John: Easy, moving freight train. If you really want to get around, try learning to use speed stilts.
Me: Speed stilts?
John: Yeah, they’re huge in Prague. Speed stilts or become whatever species Taylor Swift is.
Me: What do you mean?
John: Think about it, she’s got 40 inch legs no larger than a guard rail.
Me: Normal bones could hold that.
John: She could probably get going pretty fast. She also has fatty deposits around her eyes, she’s probably from a desert planet. And everyone likes her.
Me: Pheromones?
John: No, it works through television. I think it’s probably some form of hypnosis. *coffee sip*