I spent the morning learning a crucial lesson: Â Given a Nintendo game that took you hours or days to complete as a youth, it is now possible to find a video on the internet of someone having beat it in under 45 minutes if an non-RPG and 1:30 if it is. Â I take this a proof that we, as a society, have progressed. Â I look forward to the day when someone beats PREY, FEAR or Doom 3 in 20 minutes.
Bumper schtickers
I watched a commercial for Penn State today enjoyed the mediocre voice-over for Abington that occurred during the “go to Penn State in your area”. Â Having gone there for two horrible, horrible years I’m thinking of producing a PSU: Abington bumper sticker. Â “Abington: Because I’m too Pretentious for Bucks County Community College” or “Abington: Because my parents are paying”.
I pooped a squirrel
I had to meet my adviser today to schedule a select admission class but the only appointment I could get was at 2:00 PM which is during another class. Hm… I got up to leave that class at about 1:55 PM and the TA asked where I was going and I blurted out “the rest room”, no one’s going to argue with that Terry, genius! Â I walked two blocks, up four flights of stairs and found my adviser was disposed, so I waited, and waited, and finally met, spent 12 seconds to fill out a piece of paper work and returned to the class still in session. Â As I walked in the door, the TA looked up again and I quickly glanced at the clock it was 2:35, I had spent 40 minutes “on the can”! Â So, I wiped fake sweat off my brow, exhaled fully and quietly said “no more Persian food for lunch”. Â Her jaw went slack and her face contorted, and I sat down triumphantly.
Consider the cow a sphere
My statistics textbook prides itself on using real world examples in its problems. Â I could tell for the current lesson on large sample sizes when a question began “During a football game, a gust of wind caused 1/2 the number of spectator’s to lose their hats. Â Assuming the lights didn’t work, find a function that for a number n, that 1/4 of them would get hats back assuming the hats are distributed both randomly and independently.”
Hot Wheels
While walking behind Speakman Hall, I saw a bicycle chained to a hand-rail. Â This seemed a good precaution until I realized the bike’s seat cushion, handle bar covers, wheels, and chain had been stolen with no discernable damage to the D-lock. Â I can’t wait to see some guy with a trench-coat standing outside the library saying “hey, you want some wheels?”
Deal or no deal you saucy bitch.
I watched Deal or No Deal for the first time. Â The mechanics are simple enough but as with all game shows I am most interested in the audience. Â Deal or No Deal elevates this by having the family on stage to “guide” the contestant. Â I’d really like to see it done with a dysfunctional family.
Mother: “Take the money! Â Then you can start paying be back for the years of life I wasted raising you, you little shit.” Son/Contestant: “Shut up you drunken bitch, let me make my own decisions”
Father: “Don’t risk it!  I took a chance once and got you and a life consigned to hell in a 3 room apartment with her!”
I’d pay to see that. Â See what Howie Mandel remembers from his day’s on Bobby’s World.
The avocados were way better when I was a kid
Over the past few weeks I’ve been making an effort to wake up earlier, and by that I mean before 10AM on days that I don’t have school. Â Success was slow at first but today I officially turned into an old fart. Â I woke up 5:30AM and did what any reasonable 22 year old would. Â I showered and went produce shopping! Â And if you still doubt me I talked to James (not Jim, he yells if you call him that) the Produce Guy for 25 minutes. Â I learned the difference between an anaheim and a poblano pepper, how to pick an avocado and how shitty my social life has become.
The postal service, covering your laziness since 1775
I wanted to offer a specific card, Chaos Orb as a prize for a tournament I’m holding today. Â After I won one on eBay on Tuesday I emailed the seller to see if I could picking it up directly from him after discovering his house was practically on the way to the tournament site. Â I received no response until Thursday whereas they stated they didn’t like pick-ups as they had a problem with one previously, he then states he can express mail it to me. Â Okay, how much I think, nothing… So, instead of me picking up the card and paying in cash, the fellow instead spend 23 dollars to have something overnighted a net distance of 16 miles plus the fact they now had to pay paypal fees. Â w00t efficiency!
Ascension in 20 minutes or less
Today in IH 0051 the instructor emphasized the importance of mystery and the unknowable as a part of the Hindu faith. Â Without enbracing the ineffability of Brahman, one is incapable of creating a detached notion of self-action. Â After about 20 minutes of such high-minded talk on the lack of a direct path to realizing the Atman, the reality of a mandatory introductory philosophy class set in when the next slide was titled “The Three Definited Steps to Ascension”. Â What took mystics a lifetime of ascetic self-focus is now doable in 20 minutes by an Asian humanities instructor. Â It must be tough to move around the Ivory Tower with heads that big.
Lid comes with free can.
Yet another encounter with another Faulknerian Idiot Manchild. Â While walking through Lowes searching for a new recycling bin and an orbital scanner, I found the aisle and saw that the two piece garbage cans had the lids on a shelf, followed by the price tag below it, with the cylinders on the ground. Â IÂ picked up the lid above the label showing the price $12.94 when the person looking at one piece garbage cans next to me said in all seriousness “That’s a lot for a garbage can lid.”