While I hate the duck, it does fill a waste disposal niche that has gone otherwise empty.  Max will eat most anything that’s sweet, meat or fat.  The cat takes care of some odd stuff like making sure soup cans are cleaned out and eating used q-tips.  When we had gerbils that was the excess newspaper disposal as well as sensitive document shredding. The duck takes care of bulk carbohydrates and most lentils.  While having a “we have no food” fight with my brother, we stumbled upon a package of lasagna noodles, from November 1995.  Unsure of what to do, we mashed the cardboardy material up into pieces and presented it to the duck.  It was rough at first, but now instead of a trail of bread crumbs to get the duck back to his cage, a trail of retardedly stale pasta.  I hope he goes through all the preserved beans before Thanksgiving.