Consumer Service Victory! Just add physics.

Me: Hello, my name’s Terry Robinson and I recently ordered a glowing umbrella, order number X. I didn’t receive it with the order and the shipping receipt only lists 1 box.
ThinkGeek Guy: It wasn’t in the box? We check each package before shipping.
Me: No. I’m certain it wasn’t in the box.
ThinkGeek Guy: Sometimes the packing material makes it tough to find, are you sure you’ve completely emptied the box?
Me: Yes, I’m certain.
Think Geek Guy: Sir, you may lodge an investigation with DHL@Home at the following number, blah blah blah.
Me: I didn’t get it because you never sent it! It’s a god damn 48 inch umbrella, I received a 18x18x18 box. There’s no god damn way to fit a 4 foot umbella is a 1.5 foot box without breaking math and/or physics. I know you guys bill yourselves as smart but give me a god damn break.
Think Geek Guy: One moment….. okay, the order number for your free replacement is XXXX.

For the record, this is the only time I’ve ever successfully argued that I didn’t receive something.