Every January 1st, I take all my cast iron cookware and season each piece.  Using kosher salt and a pair of tongs I do an initial clean of each piece and use a light detergent and air dry if necessary.  I then heat each piece to slightly hot, slather it in vegetable shortening and put it upside down in the oven on rocket hot (500+ degrees) over a jelly roll pan for an hour or two.  Two rounds covers my two dutch ovens, griddle and three skillets and all in all takes about 6 hours including a nacho run (it’s the new year, one should celebrate).  To not burn myself, I let the pieces cool down for about 45 minutes before handling and then I air cool until the piece hits room temperature.

Around 5 PM, my brother determined that he wanted to bake brownies NOW because his girlfriend wanted them and I told him I was in the middle of this process.  He told me to take the pieces out and I laughed because even the best oven mitts have trouble with 500 degree iron for more than an instant as the pressure on the hand by the metal quickly overcomes even impressive insulators.  He thought himself man enough to take them and I left to get a drink.  I could make out his cry of pain and the crash as the skillet collided with the oven door (he didn’t think to pull out the oven rack rather than just pulling out each piece) and I saw him get into his car and drive away.  Later I went down to check on the iron’s cooling when he returned with a box of Entenmann’s in hand.

Every January 1st, I take all my cast iron cookware and season each piece.  Using kosher salt and a pair of tongs I do an initial clean of each piece and use a light detergent and air dry if necessary.  I then heat each piece to slightly hot, slather it in vegetable shortening and put it upside down in the oven on rocket hot (500+ degrees) over a jelly roll pan for an hour or two.  Two rounds covers my two dutch ovens, griddle and three skillets and all in all takes about 6 hours including a nacho run (it’s the new year, one should celebrate).  To not burn myself, I let the pieces cool down for about 45 minutes before handling and then I air cool until the piece hits room temperature.

Around 5 PM, my brother determined that he wanted to bake brownies NOW because his girlfriend wanted them and I told him I was in the middle of this process.  He told me to take the pieces out and I laughed because even the best oven mitts have trouble with 500 degree iron for more than an instant as the pressure on the hand by the metal quickly overcomes even impressive insulators.  He thought himself man enough to take them and I left to get a drink.  I could make out his cry of pain and the crash as the skillet collided with the oven door (he didn’t think to pull out the oven rack rather than just pulling out each piece) and I saw him get into his car and drive away.  Later I went down to check on the iron’s cooling when he returned with a box of Entenmann’s in hand.

The Dick In a Box video, first introduced to me by Teejay Green many moons ago has finally met with web 2.0 to create the Dick in a Box shirt. This video that represents one of five funny things that SNL has produced since Will Ferrell left. Anyway, the shirt is available through tshirtbordello. I particularly like the person modelling the shirt trying to avoid eye contact because he’s wearing a Dick in a Box t-shirt.

Chuck Norris: ‘Truth’ book is a lie from PensacolaNewsJournal.com

Chuck Norris is suing Penguin Group Inc. for producing a book containing Chuck Norris facts.  I’m angry at Chuck Norris for being a humorless dick that thinks that Chuck Norris jokes some how slander his name.  He’s already done himself enough harm by supporting the science-ostrich Mike Huckabee and saying evolution isn’t real.  I’m angry at Penguin for taking jokes in the public domain and placing it under copyright giving them legal recourse against anyone making new Chuck Norris jokes for stealing their IP.  Protest by consuming as many Chuck Norris jokes as you can before the case is settled.