One of the benefits of having a fat malcontent that likes baking on your payroll is the periodic air-drop of baked goods.  On Monday I made veggie/vegan brownies (made with real vegans!) and many of my co-workers were stunned by the concept of vegetarian brownies, like somehow the brownie wouldn’t quite set correctly unless it had a pork chop or veal cutlet embedded in it.

Yesterday I played hookie and made a chocolate chip currant loaf quick bread.  I brought it in this morning and already my coworkers’ behaviors have changed.  Two have been really, really nice to me and another is treating me like I must be fatigued from all this baking and has been taking tasks from me.  I’m being upheld like some sort of gastronomic triathlete as if super-human effort is required to mix shit and jam it in the oven not once but twice in a week.   I’m curious if muffins on Friday would result in me being worshiped as their pagan god of bounty and harvest.  Thinking of the corpulent representations used for proto-religious gods of plenty I already have the figure for it.