For the first time in like 8 months I judged a PTQ for PT: Hollywood.  Pro Tour Qualifiers are events at which Magic players can qualify for invitation-only events. PTQs are interesting events in that there’s a confusing mix of n00bs, semi-pros and absolute pricks.  The event was held in a church basement and it was nice juxtaposition of seeing cards like Ghastly Demise and the cadaver-eating Ichorid against a background of “Opening the Door to the House of the Lord” or “Praying So God Can Hear You”.

I semi-blew a call round 1 where there was a mutual failure to communicate, but it had to involve a player that calls “Judge” if his opponent sneezes.  After the fact, I heard some creative re-tellings of what happened involving me slapping someone and flying salmon.  On the plus side, the combination of cramped space and sweaty unbathed men usually results in a stinky venue by round 2, this place didn’t smell until clear into round 4.  The church kids are probably in for an aromatic treat on Monday.  We also had to announce during the day that men should not go into the Women’s Room.  Later, the Men’s room floor was replaced by Lake Tinkle and players started bragging about how far back they could be and still hit the puck, now I know how lakes expand.

The final note of the day was my attempt at using the Broken Window Theory for trash collection.  Normally, trash is picked up when it hits a critical amount, but today I was much more aggressive thinking that the presence of trash promotes dropping shit.  I have theorized that Magic players and campers have a gland that produces trash but I’ve not confirmed this.  Anyway, this worked great until the 5th round when I took my lunch break.  When I returned, there were mounds of pack wrappers and I think I saw a tumbleweed made out of crap commons.  It worked for a while, at least.