Cat Triage

The cat came in today with a heck of a dent in its head.  Over the last few years scabs have been appearing from his frequent scrapes with owls, other cats, a small fox and in one case what looked like a wolverine.  The dent had no scab and was quite white and about the size of a dime, which is pretty big on a cat’s head.  My dad said it’d been there for a day or two and may not just be a scab and that it had a lump under it while at the same time the cat’s been far nicer than normal.  The cat had to go to the vet anyway but I started to envision the conversation with the doctor.

Me: What’s wrong?
Doctor: Your cat has one of the most adorably deadly diseases in the animal kingdom: kitty cancer.
Me: Well, what can we do?
Doctor: Well, sit by and watch him nuzzle against you as he descends a cute spiral of snuggly death.
Me: That’s terrible…
Doctor: Terribly soft and cuddly.