SimStapler is quite possibly one of the dumbest applications for the iPhone.  You press the stapler on screen, and it plays an animation of someone using a red swingline stapler.  Every 10 presses, a woman’s voice says “splendid!”  I’ve currently pressed it about 4000 times and everyone who sees it call me an idiot; until they try to see how fast they can use it.

Teejay Green challenged Sam Lodise to a friendly competition of who could get to 50 first.  Teejay got 50 presses in 22.23 seconds where Sam beat him out narrowly at 22.18 seconds.  Teejay had knocked back a few beers at this point and what I assumed was a friendly competition was not: Upon learning of his loss at an utterly pointless game Teejay said the following:  “You cock-sucking mother-fucking Chinese bastard”.

This is why I don’t drink.  In other news, Teejay stated to me that he’d pay me 10 dollars if by 2018 he didn’t have a personal fusion generator in his basement.  With God and the blogosphere as my witness, I will have my 10 dollars.