Sleeper Cadillac Expert

A coworker is looking into buying a Hummer H3 with the money he made cashing out before the recent stock downturn. I called him an idiot and told him that he’d probably get more enjoyment putting his money in a ditch. As an alternative I recommended he simply get a nice sedan for his family and he said a Hummer and a V6 Caddy get about the same mileage and then a new wind blew. Coworker 2, a man of origin about the Caucasus came descended like the Russian Winter.

Coworker 2: I have had enough of lies! A V6 Cadillac will get 18 city and 25 highway. You say lies with your 20 MPG Hummer.
Coworker 1: But look at it. It rules the road.
Coworker 2:
It rules with iron fist. The Cadillac rules with grace like assassin. You have room for family in car and enemy in trunk. V8 Cadillac will drag your Hummer into ditch without receiving mud.
Me: Well, maybe he wants to pick of some hotties with his fat rims.
Coworker 2: Hummer is a hoopdie (yes, he said hoopdie) compared to Cadillac. Learn your car.

It appears both me and coworker 1 were taken to “teh skool”.