Fake Chicken Disappointment

The man who invented the pre-cooked chicken strip is singlehandedly responsible for doubling the happiness index of those who’ve ever found themselves with 20 minutes, a toaster oven and  a hankerin’ for chicken.  Not just any chicken and certainly no kind you’ve ever seen before.  It’s uniform, possibly spherical, dipped in spices that never existed in any traditional spice cabinet and completely recookable with little loss of flavor from what was probably once a GM chicken.  It’s been chopped, diced, defatted, reconstituted and extruded to little balls of flavor.

Today, I tried a new brand of the above chicken-type and was met with the unfamiliar.  It was crunchy in some places and not in others, it was stringly and didn’t have the texture of tofu and an Arby’s Roast Beef.  I think into the delicious fake chicken I was expecting someone may have snuck real chicken .  What were they thinking?