As the office nerd I’ve created stock speeches for purchasing home electronics.  My tablet vs. non-tablet essay was used by an entire sales department and my Mac vs. PC and XBox 360 vs. PS3 polemic has become stock office conversation for my elightened position of ‘use what all your friends use’.  Today, I purchased an entire computer via courier:

Coworker: So, do I go with Vista 32 or 64?
Me: Go with 64, it’s more secure and most of the bugs have been worked out.
*Coworker leaves and later returns*
Coworker: Does the case size matter?
Me: Not much, mid-tower cases are easier to upgrade and replace parts on if you plan on having it for a while.
*Several visits later*
Coworker:  How much RAM should I go with?
Me: Just get two gigs and buy more from a cheaper provider.
*Coworker leaves and later returns*
Coworker: How should I have them…*I cut him off*
Me: Get two 1 gig DIMMs rather than four 512 meg DIMMs.
Coworker: What about…*I cut him off*
Me: As long as the clock speed of the extra RAM is above or equal to the stuff that comes with it you’ll be fine.
Coworker: Who…*I cut him off*
Me: Doesn’t really matter, but I’m a fan of Mushkin, Corsair, OCZ, or Crucial.