Air Drilling Man-Dad

I listened to the latest episode of Downloadable Content from Penny Arcade and heard the parties told tales of his father battery acid mishap and air-sawing.  I had heard rumors of air-sawing from my dad (one holds the piece of wood in one hand and a circular saw being either braced by nothing or with another body part) and thought such feats of daring limited to imagination or possibly inner Appalachia.

I should have known that of all the places where a father would exhibit such daring, a Pinewood Derby would be the place to see it.  One kid’s Pinewood Derby car came in over weight and seeing the race time approach the father took drastic measures to reduce weight.  Normally, one may file off a few things here or there or may be drill lightly, this man put the Pinewood Derby car in his palm, wrapped his hand around it, and with the 18.5 volt power drill and a 3/8ths bit started drilling into the car towards his palm.  This act was not taken lightly as shown by his tightened jaw and the bulging of previously non-existent arm muscles.  If the drill had slipped and he’d bored through his hand I’m confident his anger would be not at the fact that he’d given himself an impromptu case of stigmata but that the blood splatter would add to the weight of the car.