Depths of Fatigue

I called it an early day yesterday and got 10 hours of sleep.  If I go below 7.5 hours two days in a row I’m useless and if I get more than 11 I’m groggy.  Between the two: magic.  My oven was also replaced and made brownies, so I came into work at 5 AM chipper and armed with brownies like some alternative reality June Cleaver.  This contrasted heavily with a coworker who lives off of 4 hours of low-quality sleep.

Coincidentally, we went out to lunch today and he asked me why I was so chipper and I told him it was due to 10 hours of sleep and his left eye started twitching.  No the “I have a bug in my eye” twitch but the “the previous statement reflects a mode of being I have never occupied nor probably ever will.  I will sleep when I’m dead” twitch.  It was frightening until I realized his decimated cerebellum probably couldn’t muster enough coordination for he to stab me in any reasonably short length of time.  I jokingly offered to replace our luncheons with me driving around New Jersey while he napped in the passenger seat sleeping.  His mouth said “no” but his eyes screamed “yes”.  Maybe one day I’ll replace his Tic-Tacs with chloral hydrate and he’ll get a quality afternoon nap.