Dad: I think the cat’s got a disease or something, I keep seeing these tufts of hair recently.
Me: That’s not cat hair.  That’s one of the periodic dog-hair tumbleweeds that develops if I haven’t vacuumed recently.
Dad: I still think there’s something wrong with the cat.

My cat is either frequently attacked or has some OCD whereby he scratches to excess.  That wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that after being wounded he tends to lick himself a lot and throws up more.  Normally, I have enough time to pick him up and put him in the sink or place him outside, but the time’s been dropping.  Today, I was on my computer when he started making kitty-vomit noises.  Normally, this means 30 seconds and I was thinking I’d drop him in the shower but the tell-tale hrug-chauk noise told me I had less time.  I was able to rip off my vest fast enough to use it as a throw-up drop-cloth and save my carpet.  Maybe this is my cat’s way of testing my reaction time now that he can no longer keep up with me trying to poke him on the head.