Back Home: Day 4 – Auction

Staying in Totem felt both homey and odd as normally I stay there because I lacked the basic camping gear to stay elsewhere which I rectified to complete woodbadge last year.  Now, I had the more respectable excuse that I owned the appropriate gear and that I’d even recently stayed in genuine national parks but said gear was in Tucson… and I had the blog to prove it.

My work seems lazy during OA weekends, I usually sleep through breakfast and then tool around a bit and see what odd things I need to do before the patch auction.  This time, I was asked to up with an entirely fake copy of the Bucktail (the lodge newsletter).  I’m quite proud of the list of fabricated facts:

  • Mark was the only gospel apostle to not get Eagle but helped Luke get Brotherhood.
  • Tohickon is the Lenape term for “place to dispose of bodies”.
  • The insulation in Totem Lodge is made entirely of Triscuits.
  • As a prank in 1975, Ockanickon Scout Reservation was sold on Craiglist in exchange for 8 beaver pelts and an antique flax wheel.
  • The Science Center’s basement contains a capstan operated by Ordeal candidates which powers the xenon space laser used to calibrate the camp’s telescopes.
  • The camp’s totem poles are actually ancient Indian cell phone antennas.
  • Bill Mischke is challenged to a duel on average 1.12 times a summer camp season.
  • Ranger Dave Smith is a three-time New York Times crossword puzzle champion.
  • The diesel engine was invented and perfected in what is now the Handicraft Lodge.

The full fake document should be available shortly.

In the OA, besides generating fake content, I do little besides running patch auctions.  Tonight’s auction went frighteningly well with a reasonable start, reasonable end, no cases of me accidentally insulting someone’s sexuality or cursing, and a good selection of items.  I celebrated with a slice of re-frozen cheesecake which I thought was the cause of my insomnia but it turned out to be an observation my subconscious had noted that my active faculties hadn’t: I sold the 2004 NOAC two-piece for $40.

Friends don't let friends pay $40 for this patch.

This patch debutted at $8 for the two pieces and is a simply hideous patch.  The top makes no sense without the bottom, the deer looks like he’s taking a whiz behind the tree, the reference is 10 years late, and using “Brothers” twice is jarring to the ear.  Eight dollars to forty dollars, that’s 61% interest compounded annually…  I disgust me.