Low carb eating has resulted in a few functional food shortcomings that’ve proven hard to work around. For instance, while most dips can be easily modified to be low-carb friendly most chips cannot. I miss the dip transport function of chips but feel them necessary as I’d feel like a barbarian if I simply ate blue cheese dressing or cream cheese-centered French Onion dip with a spoon, but while holding a chip, I am a gourmet, a gentleman.

I had tried chip alternatives like making my own crackers, but this brought flashbacks ( Another option I investigated was cooking pepperoni until it was hard but by the time it gets firm enough it’s also quite… toasted. Then I moved onto broccoli but had to keep steaming new batches which prevented me from late night consumption which I suppose may be a good thing.

That ended today when I spotted, in my very own fridge, cucumbers. I took one out, sliced it and it performed admirably. I’m pretty sure I had gotten them for this purpose which has raised the side effects of keto to include not just strange breath but retrograde amnesia.