Fail Man

My lunch location is determined in the following nested if statement:

IF I have a lunch engagement
THEN go to engagement

ELSE free food available work
THEN eat at work

ELSE in a rush
THEN eat with 3 blocks of work

ELSEIF eat at home

None of the first three conditions triggered much this week so I tended to eat at home. The other scenario whereby I’ll eat at work is if I’ve packed my own lunch. I am remarkably incapable of packing a lunch that doesn’t depend on salad greens and having none, I didn’t pack my lunch.

On the way from the subway station to my apartment which clocks in at maybe 100 feet, a fellow that looked like a homeless Dudley Moore started following me and asking me questions. I blocked him out and as I approached my front door, the mail man was there. He dropped the mail into the bottom metal box for my downstairs neighbor but then held off dropping mine in when the fellow following me said “Hello” to the mail man. The mail man stopped, somehow presumed the vagrant following me was somehow associated with me and gave him my mail. I slammed the door behind me and got halfway up the stairs before realizing what had just happened. I recalled there being two pieces and both were in glossy envelopes, statistically he is now in possession of a credit card pre-approval and a note to the previous tenant to pay a parking ticket in Seattle, Wa. I hope they make good rolling papers.