Price Per Hole

Tom turned 22 tonight. All of our toasts were “to turning 17!” but none of the bartenders or hosts seemed to bat an eyelash at it. Our night’s entertainment was karaoke at Yakitori Boy, a karaoke bar on 11th St. One can either join the general bar scene there and pay a buck to be added to the karaoke queue or rent a room. Rooms came in sizes to support anywhere between 8 and 24 people and I had reserved an 8 person room for 90 minutes. I was called the day before with a note of “dress code requires no hoodies or excessively loose fitting clothing. I was curious if this place had a problem with people packing automatic weapons, but when we arrived and I was made to sign a release everything made sense. The place had a $200 uncorking fee. They weren’t worried about people packing uzis but people packing uozo.

Me: So do you have problems with people sneaking in booze?
Attendee: Usually the clinking gives it away.
Me: How about people arriving with say fake legs and being true bootleggers?
Attendee (turns to other hostesses): I think we’d allow that.
Me: The damages are listed as “$200 per hole” what does that mean?
Attendee: Do you plan on breaking anything?
Me: Not this time.
Attendee: Then there should be a problem.

We arrived in the room and there were no holes to be found. Splendid. If I want to sneak booze in next time I may have giant foam fingers made saying “#1 Karaoke-ist” that will secretly contain liquor sleeves. Alternatively, fake legs.