I had a meeting at 2 o’clock and thought that I should use the rest room before so I wouldn’t be late.  I triumphantly enter the stall, squat and the waiting begins.  Maybe it was the recovery from yesterday’s fasting, or maybe it was eating shells and cheese for lunch but I think I could here each individual tirdlet walking to my ass and jumping into the toilet yelling “Whee!”  It sounded like a Chinese marble clock rather than a fat man shitting.  It was very anticlimatic.  When I finally got up it looked liked a brass monkey dipped in chocolate, It nice to see that in the absence of cathartic quantity my colon could generate such consistency.

Question #6 on Today’s IH 0052 Midterm-
“Choose one:  Explain why you like poetry, or explain why you hate poetry”
My response: “Because this counts as great art:
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the iceboxand which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-This is just to say
William Carlos Williams"

Question #6 on Today’s IH 0052 Midterm-
“Choose one:  Explain why you like poetry, or explain why you hate poetry”
My response: “Because this counts as great art:
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the iceboxand which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-This is just to say
William Carlos Williams"

I love physicals, especially sensory testing ones as they make me feel like I’m about to go into space or participate in a physical challenge from Double Dare.
Eye Examiner: Please read the bottom line of the chart.
Me: Made in China 2006Eye Examiner: Read the number in the circles.
Me: 8-29-12-5
Eye Examiner: *Silence*
(The 5 is part of a test pattern to check to see if people are faking it, like here. No one can see all 4 circles)

It was even more fun as the nurse walking me through everything was maybe 100 lbs.  At one point she had to jump to remove an electrode on my chest from an EKG.

Finally, we did height and weight, and after learning I’m 6’3″ (?) I asked the capacity of the balance.
Nurse: 350 lbs.
Me: I’m over capacity.
Nurse: Okay, well you look to be about 320 lbs, *writes it down*.
That makes total sense.  This person is in charge that I’m not in danger, I feel safe.

Markov Chains are wondrous little things that allow you to make arbitrary calculations at a future time and there’s a bunch of matrices involved.  Today we had a quiz on them and after the first few questions we hit one where for once there were actually numbers.  Not letters, honest to God numbers.  In a college math class, what nerve!  Needless to say we were all confused as shit, as each person reaches that point, we looked at each other, and looked at the paper staring at the ‘digits’ and said “numbers, what do I do with these?<– Interrobang should be here“  I wanted to raise my hand and say “none of these numbers contain a variable”.

I’m working on a method for something at work and submitted it for review to make sure it was okay.  It was approved, sent to the UK for review, and sent back with all the o’s changed to ou’s where British dictates (colour, armour, etc.)  The document was then reviewed again, the spellings were changed and resubmitted and then promptly rejected by the UK team, changed and then returned to the US team that reapplied the previous changes.  Bureaucracy may be the secret to finding a perpetual motion machine.

My brother went to get a sparkplug and yelled for Max to go with him.  No response from dog.  20 minutes of yelling later, no response, brother gets frantic running about property looking for lost dog.  Smarter younger brother spends 2 minutes searching and discovers Max still in brother’s car from earlier unsuccessful attempt mounted by brother to get sparkplug.  Brother blames cat.