I typically watch an episode of Star Trek while using the treadmill and most of my family has gotten used to the 42 minute block of thunder from upstairs. Today, after about 55 minutes, my dad checked on me to make sure I was okay, he looked relieved that I wasn’t being sanded by the belt but also confused. I looked at him as said “two-parter” and the confusion lifted.
Author: Terry
Tasty tasty hubris
I set up WPA encryption on my WLAN today and for a brief moment relived the days of 8-bit Nintendo passwords. I copied down the randomly generated code from a page and copied and pasted it into the router setup menu. I then went to the device and tried to copy it back and quickly was struck prone by the similarities between “1” vs. “l” and “O” vs. “0”. In the 63 character code, 6 such characters created 64 possible combinations. And I got it, after 38 tries. You may be saying “why didn’t you just make a new code?”. I didn’t because I’m a stubborn proto-actuary that thought a knowledge of combinatorics would somehow change probability and inadvertently learned what hubris tastes like.
Tard Curer
A diminutive Lodise and his band of friends got stoned yesterday and I was immediately transported back to 10th grade. The exception here was while my friends talked about screaming monkey brains and talked to the ground, he told me he’d seen my brain fade to infinity, then taking my Sharpie drew a 3-4-5 triangle on his arm. I wonder if Pythagoras worked the same way. Anyway, it’s nice to know the person in question is still a nerd even if he’s stoned.
Don't go banerking my heart
I haven’t gotten as much sleep as I’ve wanted. This hasn’t interfered with much but I fear my work performance may be dropping. Today when documenting failure modes of plastics under stress I wrote “banerked” instead of “break”. I hope my boss doesn’t notice, if he does I’ll tell him I must have banerked the keyboard.
Who doesn't prefer the company of men?
Discussing Walt Whitman.
FIMC: I like how he recognizes the beauty of everyone.
Teacher: Yes, he did like the beauty of man.
FIMC: It was nice for a guy to express feelings of his respect for fellow men.
Teacher: He certainly did that, in more ways than one.
FIMC: It was nice for a male poet to be so expressive.
Teacher: *Nearly palpable forehead slap* He was gay.
FIMC: Oh… That explains all those men references.
It's hot ice. It'll be huge
I work 12 hour shifts at BMS, M/W/F and at 8:00AM and 5:00PM I want a cold drink, so I brought in an ice tray into work. At first it was my little secret, then slowly my ice started disappearing. This wouldn’t annoy me accept that even when emptied it was never refilled. I consider this karmic balance for my theft of candies (1-09-7) except when I found their use: in the morning a woman comes in with a piping hot cup of coffee, and at 10 AM she reheats it and then puts two ice cubes in. WHY WOULD YOU MICROWAVE IT THEN ADD ICE! This isn’t an isolated occurrence as I’ve verified that she does it near daily. I’ve recently discovered that Gastroenteritis can withstand both heat and cold, vengeance will be mine!
I
Soon to be married coworker designed a wax seal to use on the wedding invitations. The seal was made using a highly complicated construction process out of the goodness of the person who generates prototypes. Constant talk of dimensions, materials, design formats and production time had me geared up to see a seal worthy of the Q’in Dynasty Emperor and I saw the work today. I saw the completed product and met it with Segway-like disappointment, it’s the following: ” : D C : “. And when I mentioned sarcastically that it made two happy little faces I was met with a “I was hoping people would notice”. Luckily it will go great with the “D <3 C 4 eV4R” commemorative mini-lite brites.
You get used to them after 76
I have a toothache, arguably the most debilitating ailment I’ve ever had. Even through mono and TB, I got more work done than I did with a toothache.  So, I had a list of stuff to do today and my dad comes home and asked my why I didn’t get anything done, to which I reply toothache. Now, with a normal human this would have elicited compassion or disinterest, but not to man who’s had dentures for 45 years. He then bored me with an hour long story of how his 110th filling went and afterwards my tooth didn’t hurt as much.
Buy me a baby pops
A friend of my father and brother is raising money to adopt a child from East Asia by selling lollipops. Apparently all adopted children in the US are tards and he and his wife weren’t going for that. I’ve been asked to take a box of lollipops into work to sell. I’m trying to figure out what to call them, “Buy an Asian Baby for Brian Lollipops” or BABBL . I think the whole BabyPops is retarded. Who’s going to buy a lollipop who’s profits go to buying a child? I’m going to take them in and just put a sign that says “Neshaminy Band” or something. It worked for my parents for 6 years as their co-workers consumed dubious confections.
20 minutes and neither of them drew knives
Sam’s current girlfriend and I talked for 20 minutes with either of us shooting laser beams from our eyes, breathing fire or resorting to 3rd grade insults. Like a house of cards, no one said anything, for fear of a speck of dust or sun mote destroying the fragile peace. Danger appeared when I failed to understand the difference between a neurological disorder and a mental disorder. If we can do it, Israel/Palestine should be a cake walk.