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Today is my ninth last day at my current firm. I had three last days while I was an intern followed by one about every 18 months when my contract was renewed. Over nine years that’s added up and I’ve been labeled as a bit of a boomerang. A parade of people said “oh, you’ll be back” but this one is a bit different. This isn’t a contract issue, or a school thing, this is a restructuring. I won’t be back in any similar capacity.

There were a lot of outstanding tasks to finish and my boss asked if there was anything he could do to help, I replied “bring me back Monday” but he didn’t see the humor in this. I stayed late to finish up what I could and on the way out I turned out the lights as the last person in my area to leave.

I’ve worked here for nine years and I am not bitter in my departure. Disappointed, yes, but not bitter. A little more heads up would have been nice so I could appropriately wind down my work but I should move on.

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Secretary: I’m sorry that you’re being let go.
Me: Thank you.
Secretary: But really your lucky.
Me: In what way am I lucky?
Secretary: You know that you’re losing your job. The rest of us just have to sit around and wait. You’ll be at home looking for work and we’ll be here in a haze of terror.
Me: Then why don’t you quit and alleviate that fear?
Secretary: *silence*

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Word moved around quickly at work that all the leased workers, contractors, and consultants in R&D had been let go. The reply from most of the full-timers was warm and polite but it was odd to see who spoke first. The kitchen staff, mailroom staff, and some of the secretaries offered their condolenscences before most of the engineering staff. Maybe this was because these groups were well connected or maybe it was out of fear for their own jobs. People in ancillary positions may feel slightly more fireable compared to those related to core competencies.

Airing the sentiment of “you’ve been fired, I’m sorry” is a tough one but most people muddled through it as if a death had happened. Voices were hushed and groups broke up quickly after forming. I felt a slight indignity at the idea of “we don’t talk about this”. If you’re firing me, at least have the courtesy of keeping us informed.

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Boss: Terry, swing by my office in about 20.
Me: Ok.
*20 minutes later*
Boss: Friday’s your last day.
Me: Hm… my last day or others, too?
Boss: All of the temps and contractors in R&D.
Me: Ok.
Boss: Is there anything I can do?
Me: Show a hint of humanity.
Boss: I’m sorry.
Me: Thank you.

So, that sucks.

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Departing proved easy and we rolled out before noon.  The drive back was very long and at one point we got stuck in traffic on an on-ramp.  I recommended we drive back down the on-ramp.  Kelly was uncomfortable with this, so I did it.  Shortly thereafter, several other vehicles followed.  Trendsetter.

I also learned that Randy was dickbot from the TWiT Network show “Frame Rate”.  This means nothing to almost all of you but once I found this out, I very quickly made rapid fire sequence of calls telling friends that I knew dickbot.

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Building the momentum to leave the hotel room took a bit after the long previous day. Suzie and I got rolling and arrived at Boondock Farms around 7am.

Zombification started with check in. Here is us in our original state:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Suzie

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Next we had protheses glued to our faces:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Me

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Next blood effects were added:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Finally we received gore which was a mixture of red food coloring and KY Jelly:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

All done:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Zombie MySpace shot:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

Runners went through alternating bouts of obstacles and zombies. Zombies were of two types, chasers and shamblers. Suzie and I were shamblers along with a nice family and we attacked runners for three hours collecting a good number of flags. At the end of the shift, we received some tokens of thanks, got lunch and then returned so Randy and Kelly could run.

The race itself was tightly run and professionally organized. The bands were unremarkable and the vendor area had things that I will call not too unreasonably priced. I hope to do another in the future.

Some notes:

  • I played cornhole for the first time here.  I appear to be ok at it.
  • The make-up did not come off easily and I bruised my face removing it at a truck stop bathroom.
  • Everyone at the Steak and Shake where we got lunch was incredibly polite about us being dressed as zombies and Kelly looking like a domestic abuse victim.

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I was driving to Cincinnati which is nothing new but this time there were people in the car in the form of Randy and Kelly Booz.  Driving with multiple members of my age cohort was nice as it afforded us to loudly sing the greatest hits of the 90s while stuck in traffic.  We each got to drive, we each got to nap, we each got to control the radio.  Teamwork.  We picked up Suzie and headed to the area outside Indianapolis where the Run For Your Lives event was happening and after a shoe run settled in.

I had a packed a zombie Boy Scout costume consisting of Scout pants and a shirt that I had while on staff years ago.  Here it is:

From 2012-06-23 Run For Your Lives Zombification

There was a time when I fit comfortably into that shirt. Now it takes two of us.

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Today was the first Magic tournament of the season at Ockanickon and it was nice to catch up with the staff members that perennially help. Dave Scherr was still Commander Giggles and Sean Applegate was still a skilled apiarist as proved by the following:

Sean: Terry.
Me: Yes?
Sean: I had a swarm split the other day.
Me: What’s that involve?
Sean: You have to get the groups of bees to split off so that there’s enough space between the queens for the workers to not go nuts.
Me: How do you do that?
Sean: I put the bees in a box and moved them to a new hive. If you get enough bees in one spot they kind of flow over each other into a river of bees.

A river of bees. That’s a level of Dante’s Inferno, I think.

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Kelly Booz asked me to host a brunch for her birthday which I did gladly.  She and 12 other people were planning on attending so I prepared some of my standards and scaled them appropriately.  All said and done, I had gone through 48 eggs.

16 for creme brulee
21 for french toast
9 for egg casserole
1 dropped
1 left

We took the last and made a very tiny portion of scrambled eggs.  We left no witnesses.

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Our department was told that we needed to keep our areas more open so I’ve been throwing out impediments to sight lines at an amazing rate. I took this opportunity to further convince the Hispanic housekeeper that I’m insane:

Him: What are you doing?
Me: Playing a game.
Him: What kind of game?
Me: A game where you throw out things.
Him: What’s it called?
Me: Throw out the thing.
Him: How do you play?
Me: You throw out things.
Him: Are you good at it?
Me: Very good.