by ·0 Comments

Straight razors hold a special sway over today’s man.  Using one is in an echelon of masculine endeavor with smithing, outdoor sportsman games or horse-taming that serves as a cultural link to yesteryear’s manly men.  I looked into straight razor sets and found the prices either suspiciously high ($275 for a full chrome set) or suspiciously low ($3.00 for one made of bone, not just the handle, the whole thing).

I got a haircut later that day and asked about a straight razor, the first question the barber asked was “what do you plan on doing with it?”  I attempted to make a Sweeney Todd joke but quickly answered “shave”.  After an awkward silence he quizzed me on strop sharpening, and creating a proper lather and proving I’d done my homework he said he had an in “with a big wig in the straight razor industry”.  Big wig in the straight razor industry?  Really?  He mentioned he’d “hook me up” with some of the “newest technology on the market”.  Aircraft aluminum blades? No.  Lazer guided handle? No.  Some crazy curved blade that contours to the human face? Hell, no, it’s a straight razor.  “New tech” is apparently replaceable blades in a plastic handle which has only been around for about 70 years.

I hope to get the razor next week and I’m being positive, either I’ll have a stupidly smooth shave or will dress as a PEZ dispenser on Holloween next year.

by ·18 Comments

In an attempt to save material cost, a coworker was tasked with determining the actual surface area used of a material on one of our products.  Watching him measure a curved surface with a ruler was almost painful so I proposed he cut the film of interest away from the product, mass it, and compare it to the mass of a reference sample.  I was told this was “too inexact” compared to trying to measure a curved, inflated, stretchy surface with a ruler.

He then moved to using CAD to view the device in 3D and started using the ruler functions to again measure the surface and tried cutting the space into smaller geometric figures as the surface of consideration wasn’t quite spherical.  I proposed he use the equation for the surface curve and that he calculate the volume as an a surface of revolution.  Once again, I was rebuffed for it not being exact enough.

Calculus, not exact enough.  The only method for perfectly determining the area under a curve after literally millenia of estimates using stupid rectangular prisms and trapezoids is not exact enough.  A mathematic accurate enough to shoot the Voyager 2 probe within 70 km of Neptune at a distance of nearly 4.5 billion km.  Your right, calculus, not exact enough.  You got me.

by ·2 Comments

Note of Clarification: In a previous post on voting, I give the impression that I was saddened by the results of the recent election.  This is far from the case, my anger arose at new voters who haven’t yet learned that voting is usually a far more pedestrian affair and that proof of democracy is voting when you probably won’t change a thing.  Mykie Noble compared my feelings to church folk who get angry at people that appear only at Christmas.  Democracy is a dirty, messy matter where years of work culminate in a single vote that can be thwarted by misinformation, polemics, or weather.

I split my votes across 3 parties and 1 independent and I look forward to having the High Priest of Democracy that believes in the power of government.  As Rachael Maddow said on the Colbert Report “Having a small government conservative as the president is like having a vegan butcher”.  I look forward to having a velociraptor in power (normally, I’d have to send a metaphor abroad to have it tortured that much).

Actual Post: In talking with my largely conservative coworkers in the wake (some say aftermath) of the recent presidential election I’ve received a lot of curious questions ranging from the composition of the Supreme Court to powers normally wielded by the president.  I think most people are willing to give our new president the benefit of the doubt and all the McCain-Palin bumper stickers and yard signs will be replaced with ones that simply say “We’ll see”.

Not a very funny post so I’ll steal a line from Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.  Palin was panned for not being informed on world events, history and US policy.  To prepare for 2012 she’ll be moving the Governor’s Mansion so she can see a library from her house.

by ·0 Comments

For one of the few times in my professional career I received a thank you gift in the form of 16 oz handled, non-microwavable, recessed lid, slider cup.    I was thrilled that I got recognition for my years of dodging work and long hours of fabricating data.

NOTE: For the purposes of complying with 49 CPR 1028 the above statement is false and is meant for humorous effect to preserve a comic idiom.  All data was properly and rigorously generated and recorded in compliance with ISO and FDA documentation standards as well as to the moral standards of the Engineer Code of Ethics.

But the lid’s steel.  Steel.  Who makes a cup with a steel lid.  “I want some coffee.  Mmmm… That’s good steel-flavored coffee.  I’m glad I’ll be tasting that metallic tinge with all food I eat for the rest of the day.”  Every other part of the cup is rubberized except for the one part that comes in contact with you tongue.  GHA….

by ·0 Comments

I still very much prefer speed Scrabble (two minutes per play) versus traditional Scrabble which takes three times as long with scores only slightly higher.  These fast pace games appear to bring out the more primal end of play as the first game brought the following NSFW words:

CUNT, PENIS, PENISES, BRIDE, BREED, COY, and LUTS (anagram of SLUT but LUTS was worth more points) and once instance where a proper two person combination could have spelled DONKEYPUNCH across two triple word scores.

by ·6 Comments

I spent most of the morning today mocking a blacksmith in work who had made his own forged belt buckle.  References to the LLBean Christmas 08 anvil catalog, the My First Anvil playset and the web 2.0 compliant e-Anvil and its corresponding Facebook group flew furiously.

Later that day, my belt buckle broke and I replaced it with the new Boy Scout web belt.  It’s a fine belt with a quality latching mechanism and less “a small child threw up on my belt after eating peas” green.  I was worried that people at work would catch onto the fact that I was wearing a Boy Scout belt until I had to lift my dunlop to show a fellow campmaster the new belt.  What the dunlop giveth, the dunlop taketh awayeth.

by ·0 Comments

Wikipedia is one of the few organizations to which I donate actual money rather than time, materials and theft and my donation formula is usually very simple:

($ value of software I’ve stolen in the past year)/20 = Donation amount

In 2006 it was about $25.00 while in 2007 it was closer to $50.00 (CS2 was expensive, so was Server 2003).

Lately though, I’ve gotten most of my software through legitimate purchase and purged illegal software so my current tab is $10, $0 if you don’t count cheating your way into a closed beta.  What am I to do?  Sure, I could replace Microsoft’s free Movie Maker with Vegas or something and bump it to $35.00 but I’d never use it.

After considering my options, I’ve chosen instead to donate $1.00 for every DVD I rent from Netflix and rip putting things comfortably in the $40.00 region (I’ve been busy).

by ·0 Comments

The day after election day was a bit duller at work that I imagined but somehow I because a generic everyman.  When ever someone discussed election results with me I was part of the “we” regardless of their position.  I was told that “we did what we could” to get McCain elected and that “we helped turn the tide” by electing Obama.  I didn’t observe this with any other colleagues.  I’m not sure what to make of this.